In The Getting There

Happy Birthday

2011-09-25T21:04:00.003-06:00

Providence turned 7. It's been a weekend full of celebration.

Thursday: Haircut
Friday (actual birthday): movie date with mama
Saturday: dinner and presents with Isaiah's family
Sunday: cupcakes with my brother and family.

I made chocolate zucchini cupcakes with the girls and they are so delicious! If you have as much zucchini in your garden as we do you need to make them. Right. Now.

Makes 24 cupcakes:

Cake:
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups shredded zucchini
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Frosting:
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup butter
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a standard muffin tin with paper cupcake liners.

In a large bowl, mix together the oil, sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla until well blended. (Looks kind of like moist sand).

Combine the flour, 1/2 cup cocoa, baking soda and salt; stir into the sugar mixture. Fold in the zucchini and chocolate chips. Scoop evenly into 24 cupcake liners.

Bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, until cupcakes spring back when gently touched. Cool completely before frosting. (I made them the day before).

To make the frosting, melt together the 6 tablespoons of cocoa and butter; set aside to cool.

In another bowl, blend together the confectioners' sugar, milk and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Stir in the cocoa mixture.

Spread (or if the frosting is still a little warm you can dip them) over cooled cupcakes. Top with mini chocolate chips or coconut (or whatever else your little heart desires).

I have made this recipe sans frosting and it is still wonderful.

Boy is doing this, and girl is doing that

2011-06-22T07:42:00.010-06:00

A lot of :mommy: bloggers do milestone posts for their kiddo's. I'm going to double up since Jubilee didn't get an 18 month one and is now 19 months. I know these may not be as much fun to read unless you are obsessed with the children making milestones... but not only am I obsessed with these two I also have a terrible memory so I'm doing it.

Asaph :: 3 Months

Wears 6m and weighs about 20lbs

Nurses on demand...a lot. And on that note he knows who feeds him - he's a total mama's boy for now.

Sleeps a 4-6 hour chunk but then nurses on and off for the rest of the night. Naps when and where he wants.

Blows bubbles and drools like crazy soaking anything in his path.

Loves his thumb, he sucks it with all other fingers straight instead of curled which results in a lot of eye poking. For some reason though, he won't do it in the car so we switch to the pacifier because he likes to suck on something while he falls asleep, and Isaiah can't handle the crying (not that I'm dancing jigs about it).

Smiles, oh how he smiles, just looking his way can produce one and melt your heart (such a difference from his sister Jubilee who was nothing like her name for the first 6+ months of her life).

Laughed for the first time for his Nana. Warning: his smiles make your heart melt but his giggles make your heart explode - really!

---------------------------

Jubilee :: 19 months

Wears 2T and weighs about 30lbs

Sleeps 10-12 hours a night, takes one 1-2 hour nap.

Milk is her favorite food, she drinks 1-2 gallons of raw milk a week.

Talks all.the.time. Will repeat pretty much anything.

Thinks she is a big girl and wants to copy-cat everything her big girl sister does, whom she thinks is the greatest.

Loves, LOVES her father, when he comes home from work she'll squeal "Papa" and run to his waiting arms.

Aunt Kris is still her next favorite outside of immediate family. Grandpa is up there too.

Brings me the phone saying "Om, Om" to call Oma almost everyday.

Tells me when she needs to use the toilet about 30-40% of the time, her reward when she goes is to wash her hands, she thinks it's the best.

Is very maternal, loves taking care of babies real or dolls, worries when someone cries or gets hurt and will ask "kay? kay?" till she knows they are ok.

Favorite book is Goodnight Moon, she wants to read it over and over and over. When she reads to herself she'll point to letters and say "I, E, O" etc. without matching the sound with the letter.

Curious, independent and unafraid. Bad combination. Makes life an interesting challenge.

Throws mean tantrums, complete with throwing herself down and flailing limbs.

Is finally growing into her name, she brings joy to everyone she comes into contact with.

Along Comes Another Month

2011-06-14T08:53:00.011-06:00

It has been over a month since I last posted. Life has been busy.

It's been busy-fun with:

-The reviews I am doing over at She {hearts} It

(I just posted a review about these summer sneakers).

-Providence lost both of her front teeth, LOVE that.

-Watching this little guy grow

-Going to the zoo with friends

-Building forts

-Parties and parties, baby showers, birthdays, graduations...

It's also been busy-hard, Isaiah had a seizure last month and besides the initial 911 call, ambulance ride, and hospital visit we've since been going to doctors, getting tests, seeing a specialist, etc. He is doing well, no problems since. His neurologist said it all points to pain medication that he was taking (seizure is a side effect).

On top of this the doctor told him he couldn't drive {at work} for 3 months, so over one weekend we weren't sure if he would even be able to keep his job since driving is part of it. Thankfully everyone that needed to be on board decided to work around his limitation and he is able to "ride-along" till August, when he will be released to drive again.

Providence and I have been reading about the Israelites in her Bible lessons, as we read each story over and over I shockingly tell her how they didn't learn...they STILL didn't trust the Lord to take care of them after all HE had done. Then my surprise and disgust turns to shame, I'm right there with them. Fretting after all He has done.

Yummy in my tummy

2011-05-13T07:15:00.003-06:00

While working through my yeast issues my diet is extremely restricted. Nothing to feed the yeast: sugar, fruit, processed foods, refined foods, gluten, even some starchy veggies like carrots, potatoes, and corn, all no-nos for the time being.

This is forcing me to be a little more creative in the kitchen. I warned Isaiah that dinners around here may be getting strange for a bit, like mashed turnips instead of potatoes (delicious by the way). Perhaps it's not so strange for some (like me) but my pickiest eater by far is my husband and I wanted to warn him. I found some great recipes that fit my criteria. Though some of them I've been a little apprehensive about sharing with the man of the house, he is the type that just won't eat what he doesn't want.

One of them was planned Wednesday night, a recipe that sounded wonderful and simple:

Coconut Chicken with Spinach

For 2 servings:
1 large chicken breast (chopped)

3 cups baby spinach
1 onion (chopped)
1/2 cup coconut milk
3 tablespoons coconut oil
Handful of almonds
Salt and pepper to taste

Add almonds to the food processor to chop them up, then lightly brown in a pan with coconut oil. Set aside.

In a pot, add the coconut milk and spinach, then cover on a low heat to simmer.

Now add the onions to a second pan for 2 minutes with coconut oil, then add chicken until thoroughly cooked. Take the chicken and onions and add them to the pot with the coconut milk and spinach. Stir and cover for 2 minutes. Served garnished with toasted almonds, salt and pepper.

SOOOO good, changes I made were of course doubling the recipe, I used regular spinach and slivered almonds so I was able to skip the food processor step, also I only had one onion but it was pretty big.

As I was preparing this mushy mess of goodness I thought "Isaiah will probably have to scrounge for dinner tonight I don't think he will touch this." I got a welcomed surprise when not only did he eat it but he said "This one's a keeper to put in regular rotation." Wow, his horizons may be expanding - I'm thinking of trying some kind of quinoa salad on him next.

*since I didn't take a picture of the dinner he is a picture of the picky eater*

Battle with the beast

2011-05-12T08:47:00.000-06:00

The beast of yeast! I have been dealing with thrush the past 3+ weeks, horrendous. I've been trying to work on it naturally (you should see the arsenal on my counter of things I am taking for this) but this last Sunday Isaiah told me to go to the doctor. He said he didn't want to hear me sobbing as I nursed anymore. So on Monday I went and we were prescribed nystatin, granted I was already beginning to improve by Monday and I am just continuing to do so. I can even talk while nursing again! Latching on still causes a sharp intake of breath at times but cracks are beginning to heal - hallelujah!

Life has revolved around nursing and taking many many things for my thrush for a few weeks now, it will be SO good to be able to nurse without thinking about it. To enjoy it. I hope those days are coming soon.

The corners of your mouth turn up

2011-05-05T07:54:00.003-06:00

Ace loves his big sister - his biggest sister I should say. She can make him smile all live long day.

What's a Day, More or Less?

2011-04-20T09:30:00.004-06:00

I have been meaning to post this short story for awhile now, but wanted to take a recent photo of Asaph to put up with it and haven't...so here's the story sans photo, but rest assured he's growing and still oh-so-cute in his little manly way.

An envelope arrived recently from the department of Health and Welfare, enclosed was birth certificate info that we need to make sure is correct. Since I like to read and verify these kinds of things (I typically I read any papers before I sign) I scanned over the facts

Name: Asaph blah-blah

Yes.

Sex: Male

Looking good.

Blah-Blah-Blah. Wait hold on there.

DOB: March 16, 2011

Ooops, he was born the 15th...

Unfortunately to have anything fixed on the birth certificate you need to have the corrections notarized. More unfortunately if the corrections happen to be the time or date of birth you need a signed affidavit from the birth attendant. They make this real easy for a gal who just gave birth. I called my midwife and she said she'd take care of it. I'm thankful because when I told Isaiah what we would need to do he said "Let's just leave it, it's only one day."

Collector

2011-04-16T08:56:00.002-06:00

Providence has this obsession about rescuing anything she thinks can be reused. Boxes, containers, stained and ripped clothing, tiny pieces of paper, if I'm tossing anything out she will ask if she can have it. The other day it went to far, I was throwing away the plastic diaper wrapper and she asked if she could have it. In disbelief I asked her what she would use it for, she said "Oh lots of things, a bag, a hat..."

I'm afraid Providence has inherited my fathers lack of ability to throw anything away.

The Way Moms Think

2011-04-12T14:17:00.006-06:00

For some reason when you become a mom bodily functions become a daily topic of conversation. This is today's main topic of conversation so if you're not a mom I'm warning you. First though I'll share a quick picture that anyone, mom and non-mom alike, can appreciate.

Jubilee has been growing up so quickly since Asaph arrived. Overnight it seems. Here she is today hard at work doing her "school."

Now onto the bodily functions...This morning while preparing for Providence's school Jubilee came up to me pointing to her diaper saying "poop" I was excited (a very motherly thing to be) that she was beginning to understand this and asked her if she went poop. She nodded vigorously, but when I checked there was none. I asked her if she needed to go poop and she again nodded. So onto the toilet she went where she lost no time doing her business all the while turning around to check her stuff out. She was very proud, proud of filling the toilet and proud of emptying it with a flush. Not sure if this is a one time thing here or the beginnings of something beautiful, but it's made me think about poo all day.

As the Dust Settles

2011-04-05T15:05:00.007-06:00

We're all getting settled in, the past week has gone famously not just getting through the day but with school and laundry accomplished as well! The meals we were receiving from church are over now so this week I need to figure preparing dinner into the new life with three in addition. Trying to get out of the house still poses major planning but it will be second nature soon, I hope.

Jubilee loves her baby. But she likes to love him with smothers and eye poking so we have to monitor closely. Providence, of course is the most incredible helper. Her cheerful "yes mama" and mad dash to do whatever was requested makes life wonderful. She is a huge blessing to our family, I don't think I can quite articulate how much, but boy do I love her.

As for Isaiah and myself we're getting used to being kept up nights by the little man grunting. He sleeps great, just grunts all night long. However I got a pretty good stretch of sleep last night.

As for new arrival himself- my 3 week old son is just about grown out of 3 month stuff, good thing newborns legs are happy to stay pretty squished up.

My Sardines

2011-04-02T08:37:00.004-06:00

When we found out baby #3 was on it's way I figured that a bigger car was in order. Alas I was mistaken, Isaiah discovered that we could just barely fit carseat, carseat, booster across and the hunt was quickly shut down. So now the kids are wedged in so tight they probably don't need to be belted in, but don't worry they are.

Oh the places we'll go

2011-03-30T09:10:00.002-06:00

Well I did it. First outing with three chitlins all by myself. It went down pretty darn well too, despite the scattered showers.

Providence has soccer practice from 5:30-6:30, it's at a park less then 10 minutes away so I figured I would plan to leave at 5 (knowing that there would be some kind disaster like a diaper blowout causing me to leave about 15 minutes behind schedule). It worked like a charm and I was pulling out of the driveway at 5:10 (anyone else trick themselves like that?), as excited as I was to be running ahead of my real schedule (but behind my fake one) I was bummed to arrive at the park well over 10 minutes early and before anyone else...finding the middle ground of right on time is hard to do.

We sat in the car till the coach showed up and then I unloaded: first Providence she's easy and really she unloaded herself, then I put on my wrap and slipped Asaph inside. Last was Jubilee, who walked happily holding my hand, and boy did she seem big.

We played on the park structure while Providence ran around chasing soccer balls till it got too cold and rainy, for the last half hour the two littles and myself sat in the car while I nursed the boy and the girl pressed every button our pathfinder boasts. I had parked just so to be able to keep an eye on the 6 year old as well. Well done mama, well done.

I know am ridiculously proud of our hour long outing, and my meticulously executed plan, but I can't help it.

International my dear, because we're just that classy!

2011-03-30T09:03:00.004-06:00

We have our first international giveaway over at She {Hearts} It. A Sunshine Kids booster seat, so hop on over there and sign up. You'll be glad you did because you can check out the other awesome giveaways on the right hand side while you're there.

The Down and Dirty

2011-03-24T11:54:00.006-06:00

Both of my girls arrived fast and furious, labors from start to finish in under 4 hours.

Boys are different, so I've been told, and oh boy this one started mucho different.

I won't start with the distinct differences during pregnancy, or the months of cramping and contractions (you call them "practice" all you want, this time around they hurt). Nor will I go into the false labor I experienced for the first time. I will begin this story with Labor...kinda.

I have a wonderful midwife. I met her in 2007 at one of my SIL births and I said then "If I ever get remarried and have more children I want her." No one else would do. And so when I got re-married and found out I was having another child I called her right up. She was unable to attend Jubilee's birth due to a series of unfortunate events, including but not limited to: I went into

labor early, I was at my SIL's house which is an additional 30 min from mine (she already lives close to 2 hours away) and she had never been there, it was snowing heavily, and she wasn't called till about an hour before Jubilee came.

6 months later I am calling her again, I told you no one else will do. Truly, I'd rather have her there after the birth then a different midwife during.

Now we'll get to the labor...Sunday night I was once again experiencing cramping, I was tired and so finished. Frustrated with all the pain and discomfort with seemingly nothing to show for it. Everyone kept saying "It's doing something." but I couldn't see what it was doing and had no idea how long my body would just keep doing something. I figured I should call my midwife, before it got too late that night and let her know what was going on. She assured me she was staying in town, which means less the 30 mins away, and to not hesitate to call her.

Isaiah stayed home from work the next morning and our big hic-up was Jubilee happily bathing my phone in the toilet, the result was a completely dead phone and all contacts lost. Meanwhile my concerned midwife was trying to reach my now trashed phone and just getting voice mail. Around 1 or 2 that afternoon as I was trying to get some rest she stopped by and asked if I wanted her to check me. When she did she exclaimed I was at a 4-5! Boy did that put a smile on my face and filled me with renewed energy, nearly halfway there, the easy half granted, but on my way. I jumped up ready to walk the baby out.

We walked and I got tired, came home and rested, walked some more, rested. Slowly others

began showing up. Besides my midwife, her assistant, and an extra midwife that was getting certified and needed another birth, I had invited 3 of my SILs, 6 neices, and my mom who was staying with us.

Throughout the day I was having contractions, but it didn't seem to be really moving. I walked, rested, rolled around on a yoga ball, and did it all over again. Finally around 10pm I was ready to try to get some sleep, midwife checked me again, easily stretched to a 7. Yes. Really. And I was ready to go to sleep! So I did, for about 5 hours. As for the full house, some went home and some settled down to sleep.

On Tuesday morning I woke up around 3am with cramping again, the morning was more of the

same, moving and resting. Around 10-10:30 the 3 midwife ladies said they would leave to give some space but not be too far. I asked if I could take some castor oil at this point, my midwife didn't have a problem with it. She even had a recipe to make a milkshake, saying that it binds with the dairy, with less cramping. The recipe called for 4oz, we did half that. The shake wasn't bad tasting, just a little funky aftertaste. Thankfully, I didn't get any crazy cramping, about two hours later I went to the bathroom once. I came out and told Isaiah to call the midwife back.

I quickly moved into some real and HARD contractions, as I quietly worked through them, tears fell off my face. "I did NOT want to do this", I said over and over, even though I knew it was a little late, I just wanted it to be done. When I began involuntarily pushing everyone quietly arranged themselves in my bedroom (16 bodies, not counting my own) and I sat on a birth stool in the corner with Isaiah behind me. As I sat on the stool I remember saying "Get this baby OUT!" It

seemed mere moments before my body began convulsively pushing again. Providence who had wanted to catch baby was pushed up to the front as my water bags emerged, slight pause and it broke as head came, another slight pause and body came out. As baby was handed to me I announced "It's a boy."

My reward: Asaph - 11lbs - 23 3/4in - born March 15th

The Babe Arrives

2011-03-22T16:22:00.003-06:00

And guess what, it's a BOY!!!

Asaph Leighton

41 Weeks Past

2011-03-10T06:56:00.006-07:00

I have now been pregnant approximately 41 weeks (ok really 39 because the 40 week pregnancy wheel really starts at last cycle meaning conception takes place at week 2 of pregnancy) but for the sake of using the 40 schedule, because I have been, I am now 41 weeks. This is when I gave birth to Providence, a 9lb 12oz baby by the way. I think this one is going to top her, IF he/she ever wants to come out.

I think this feels so stretched out because I've (along with everyone around me) been ready and waiting for this baby for the last 4 weeks. Yes FOUR! I did that stupid thing I was saying over and over I wouldn't do- thought I would have the baby early, now baby's getting even.

I have a midwife appointment today, we'll measure this sucker and see that I'm still indeed growing (along with baby). That baby is doing fantastically well (seriously, how can baby move so much still, THERE IS NO MORE ROOM!) And that I could go at anytime. Guesses anyone?

Providence took this picture and I really liked it even if it's {just} a bit blurry.

3-2-1 Blastoff

2011-03-07T08:11:00.004-07:00

She {hearts} it launches today with a review of Pure Anada (Natural Cosmetics and Botanical Skincare) including a giveaway worth $60. I am very happy to be a part of this team and will be even happier if you would check us out.

New Addition

2011-03-05T08:25:00.003-07:00

But no it's not the baby.

Oma and Grandpa have been staying with us this week awaiting little one's arrival. Yesterday the sun was out and Providence asked Grandpa to play outside with her and help her clean up her playhouse. Guess what Grandpa found shut up inside.

I'm thanking the Lord that they found her when they did, and not a starved dead cat later. We don't really know how long she was imprisoned but I'm pretty sure Providence has been out there less then a week ago...poor thing was awfully hungry and attention starved.

After Providence cared for her the entire morning Isaiah told me "I guess this is how God gives pets to little girls whose Papa won't." He sat Providence down and told her that Mittens (Providence had named her) may be someone else's cat and might go back home, but if she sticks around then Providence needs to take care of her everyday. A few other rules are she's outside only, and if she sticks around for awhile she's going into the vet to get altered. Providence was a little disappointed about that, explaining that she LOVED kittens. But Papa is firm.

Due Dates and Sisters

2011-03-03T07:24:00.006-07:00

Jubilee absolutely adores Providence. She follows her around the house and wants to do everything she does. Sometimes she will even refuse to give me kisses, instead bestowing them on her very willing sister. I love that they can, and do, play together. Providence doesn't seem to mind the copy-cat, yesterday she even picked out "matching" outfits for the two of them. Later I caught them spinning around in circles till they fell down in the living room. Their giggles are infectious, and I'm sorry you can't hear them.

Today is my semi-official due date. I've thought this is a boy nearly the whole pregnancy, and would really like to add some testosterone to our estrogen filled house. Watching the girls together however makes me think throwing another one in the mix would be fun too (not to mention the convenience of clothing). Thankfully I don't get to choose, God in His infinite wisdom does and we'll joyfully receive the blessing He gives.

Another Heartening Return

2011-03-02T07:49:00.004-07:00

A few years ago I my friend Drea founded a mama review blog called SIMPLE (still going strong) and asked me on board. I enjoyed everything it entailed getting the products, trying them out, writing about them and telling other mothers...but when I got re-married I dropped out of the online world and needed a break. Which stretched a good two years. So imagine my excitement when Drea said she was launching a new review site with another friend, and asked if I would like to be a part of it. Hmm, let me think two seconds...YES!

She{hearts}it.com will officially launch March 7th with fun giveaways so take a peak and check back often.

False Alarm

2011-02-27T13:56:00.006-07:00

2am Saturday morning I awaken with contractions, an hour later although things hadn't progressed I was having regular contractions every 10 minutes and unable to fall back to sleep. Considering that both of my other labor and deliveries were about 4 hours from beginning to end I thought I should call my midwife, and make the other calls when I was unable to rest in bed through the contractions. I then lay in bed thinking about this little one I would be holding as the sun came up.

Then the sun came up, no change. My midwife suggested taking a walk so I walked around and around the block making calls and telling others it might be the day. While I definitely had stronger and more frequent contractions on the walk it would slow right back down to every 10 mins once I returned home. Mid-day no change, evening no change. I felt the fool alright every time I had to call someone to say nothings changed.

Finally around 8 two of my sister-in-laws decided to take their children home to bed. We then put our own kids down and watched a movie. I fell asleep around 10:30 and slept right on through (minus bathroom breaks) to the morning. I awoke to cramping gone and regular contractions gone.

FALSE ALARM! I didn't think my body did that.

Pregnancy Dreams

2011-02-24T08:02:00.004-07:00

This baby is still holding on, 1 week left till due date, but my guess is I'm going past that. So still being pregnant I am still having pregnancy dreams. Truly I have these kind of dreams even when not pregnant but for some reason while with child they're called "pregnancy dreams."

Last night Providence got attacked by a cycloptic octopus while we were living in a tree in the middle of an ocean. It was really scary. When I woke up with a pounding heart I told Isaiah, no details or anything, me just saying the dream aloud makes it more dreamlike. He assured me Providence was fine.

Marching On

2011-02-21T07:24:00.002-07:00

Although everything else is ready, I think I have a 40+ week baby here, which means waiting for March. All supplies for the birth have been sitting out ready to go for a couple weeks now.

And me, this is what I can see, belly and more belly. Legs and feet are a thing of the past, in fact the only reason I know I still have them is because they hurt!

I do have to admit I love watching and feeling baby move, and somehow this little one still finds room to do it, a lot!

Wild Child

2011-02-17T09:00:00.008-07:00

This past Sunday I had a baby scare. Jubilee tripped, crashed head first, and began crying- no surprise and not that scary, it happens all the time. The scary part was her coming up with blood and a split cheek that was already bruising. The bloody gash looked so wide on her tiny porcelain white cheek I was sure she needed stitches. Isaiah, unusually calm (he's the one checking temps and monitoring food/fluid intake of sick babies) cleaned it up and said a bandage was enough. As you can see he was right.

The picture does not quite do it justice (it looks like a little scratch and you can't really see any of the bruising) but you can see that it's healing up nicely and that Jubilee was quickly back to her wild ways. I thought I would get out of the crazy stunts till we had a boy.

Perhaps I am not as vigilant with number 2, or I have forgotten how it was but she sure seems to get into more sticky and dangerous situations then her older sister did.

Morning Snow

2011-02-16T11:47:00.006-07:00

I love snow, it makes cold so, so, worth it. Of course I grew up in Sunny California without much exposure, and even here while we get some we don't get nearly enough, so it's special. Providence shares my enthusiasm about snow. Well honestly she is much more enthusiastic since she actually goes out to enjoy it, and I tend to enjoy it through a window.

Things Don't Always Go As Planned

2011-02-15T08:32:00.009-07:00

I had planned to blog regularly in July when I came back, I really, really did. But I didn't, and each day that passed seemed to make it harder to get back to it. Then my sister inspired me, she hadn't blogged for two years and then just re-entered, if she can do it, I can do it...again. So here I am.

With seemingly constant contractions for weeks now, I was sure I would have had this baby by now. I am about ready to pop, and still have 2 (or more) weeks to go. This cell phone pic was taken last week at 37 weeks, and at my mid-wife appointment this same belly was measuring a solid 39+ weeks. I think my ribs will need to crack and the skin split to make ANY more room. I am amazed each day to wake up to find my body still intact. God sure has made us perfectly though and I can rest in knowing that He knows and plans the perfect timing for this little one to arrive, but I am still praying it's soon!

[untitled]

2010-09-22T10:04:00.005-06:00

I've been feeling blah for a few days now, probably due to my lack of water intake. It tastes bad, even yummy RO water, I can only force a few gulps down at a time and then I go as long as possible between the next gulp. It's completely ridiculous, I am well aware, here I am thirsty (one of the first signs of dehydration) nursing AND pregnant. Why don't I just choke it down?

The strange thing is I love water- really, really, really love water. That's typically my drink of choice. My love affair began when I discovered Reverse Osmosis. As a young girl I noticed my next door neighbor bought water, weird, I thought, since you can get if for free out of the tap. They kept the water jug in a their foyer, a little room at the front of their house. I can remember standing directly in front of the 3 gallon container with my water glass thinking I had tasted nothing sweeter in all my life. I was a convert, with this knowledge of what water could taste like I was no longer able to drink from the facet, at least not without a painful longing.

I tried to explain to whoever would listen, about the sweet refreshing taste of RO water. Some agreed it did taste better, perhaps not to the level I placed it but clearly above other waters. The ones I couldn't understand were those that claimed there wasn't a significant difference, this shocked my to my core. I was amazed that someone- anyone, was unable to taste the difference in clearly superior water. But there you have it, some can and some can't.

And now here I am sadly wondering why can I not appreciate the exquisite effects this water should have as it dances across my tongue? Have I lost all taste buds?

Moving Right Along

2010-08-19T12:10:00.003-06:00

I am in my second trimester. Another 6 months and I'll have another wee one. Am I ready?

I'll be honest here, when Jubilee was about 2 months old I was thinking irish twins would be awesome, then she became mobile. 5 years makes you forget things. I forgot how clingy and whiny babies can be. I forgot how they get into anything and everything and it immediately goes into their mouth. I forgot how often sweeping and vacuuming need to be done. And I forgot how dirty new eaters get. I am a little scared of two.

I forgot a few other things too, I forgot how perfectly a little body fits into your arms. I forgot about first laughs and kisses. I forgot how it feels to have them reach for you, only you. And I forgot that their smile really truly is worth the sleepless nights (it just doesn't feel like it at night). This time around I even got to experience a few new things too, how much Providence loves being a big sister. The look in a fathers eye the first time he sees his new baby. The look in baby's eye when papa comes home from work. I like that.

So here's to not having time to forget this time around.

Being the Best

2010-08-09T17:07:00.014-06:00

Isaiah came home with the cutest little size 3 soccer ball and shin guards today. That's right we've signed Providence up for a team sport, and not just any team sport- a big time running one, for my happily moseying daughter. Providence immediately wanted to get outside and try them out, and I must admit this may be what was needed to start the fire, she certainly did happily run around till she was quite red in the face. At the end of her little session with Papa she told me that she thinks she'll be "the best soccer player out there." We had talked to her about what the most important thing is? "Loving the Lord" and doing that in soccer is? "Playing your best...but I still think I'll be the best, because I'll be practicing real hard." I'm about to launch into this spiel that even with practice she's not very coordinated and inexperienced, other children have been doing this for years and Isaiah says "I have no problem with that, so long as you're loving the Lord." Simple as that. Hmmm, I thought I was the nice parent.

Introducing

2010-07-31T18:11:00.005-06:00

I will now acquaint you with our add ons.

Isaiah: Since he came first we'll start with him.
He loves: hot weather, water, motorcycles, Toyota's (especially his little '94 Toyota truck he got last month), music "good" music he'd say, concerts (even on DVD), his garden, and bacon and perhaps that should have been first.
He hates: Anything with mayonnaise but particularly pasta salad, cheesy music/movies/dialog, the saplings coming up all over our yard from our neighbors trees roots, a dirty kitchen, and going to sleep at 6pm (which he has to do for his job).
Since I've been pregnant for the majority of our marriage so far this might just be my extra sensitivity, but he can be a bit of a brute saying what he thinks with no coddling. We've been good for each other, him to toughen me up and me to soften him. He is becoming more and more of a wonderful father. Providence gets nannied from me (I don't like to admit it but I am a softy) so it's been good to have him push and stretch her more, plus he does all these fun things mom's just don't seem to be able to make time for, mostly playing. He works hard all day and more often then not comes home and makes the family dinner. He comes from a family of 10 (12 including parents) and would love his own to be as large, of course his mother started much younger...

Jubilee: She loves: Eating, her pacifier, pulling herself up on whatever she can get her hands on, and her sister.
She hates: Not getting whatever everyone else is eating, papa walking right by her when he gets home from work, and when mama doesn't pick her up.
Starting life with a roar Jubilee arrived early and so quickly the midwife was unable to get there in time. She was the most austere baby I have ever seen, giving people the stare down of their lives, while they try to coax a smile. Winning a smile from her is rare but very rewarding since she makes you work so hard for it. As she is getting older she has become more amiable so those hard worked for smiles are bestowed more often, in fact at home they're becoming quite common. She is a little papa's girl and will be a sweet angel for him while saving up all her fusses for me. She has an awful temper, way more fiery then Providence was.

I can't imagine life without these now very integral parts of our family. God has been good.

Return From Beyond

2010-07-26T18:54:00.005-06:00

After a year and a half sabbatical, I have returned, I'm pretty sure at least. And I've brought along a couple extra people...

I've thought often of returning, just finally realizing I have over a year of forgotten memories and unknown silly things said or done took awhile. I want to remember them. So here I am. To begin here's the break down of the year. At least what you're gonna get off the top of my head and to prove my point.

February - Married Isaiah. Now I can finally blog about my own DH....ps what exactly does that mean?

March - Found out I was expecting

Spring/Summer/Fall - Was pregnant and very pregnant, did things in that state.

September - Providence turned 5, now she'll be 6 in a few short months.

October - Moved to a cutsie house about 5 minutes from the old one. By cutsie I mean both it's about 1/2 the size of the old place, and we LOVE it.

November - Welcomed our daughter Jubilee to our family (don't worry there are over 9 months between, in case you're a counter)

Winter/Spring - Adjusted to said arrival.

July - Providence went on her first trip without me, to California with my family for an entire week. All involved did wonderfully, well that's slightly exaggerated for my part.

And to bring you up to speed completely I am expecting again in Feb/March of 2011.

So not to overwhelm, I will end there for now. Introductions to the new members of our unit forthcoming.

Well I HAVE been busy

2009-01-05T07:28:00.004-07:00

Seriously, I know I have been entirely in neglect of this blog BUT I do have good reason...I am engaged!!!

and really I will try to keep up better.

Since shes busy :-)

2008-12-30T12:23:00.002-07:00

Ok.. ok .. Lis may get mad at me :-) but... I have her log in from when I helped her with her blog.. and well.. if shes mad ill blame her for not changing her password. HEEHEE

She trust me. I HOPE!

Since I dont live near her and cant take recent photos... I thought id post this OLD photo I found among my flickr...

Look how cute our kids are together!

and to really flash things back...

How adorable is this!

Note to Lis: I couldnt help myself.
Love ya! Hope things are going well on your trip.

Workin' It

2008-12-06T10:17:00.005-07:00

When a friend told me that she has her 6 year old do all the vacuuming in their home I, (being the mother that I am- as in always trying to find new ways to get hard labor out of my 4 year old daughter) thought this to be brilliant. However when I suggested this new chore to Providence she (who's always been a bit scared of the vacuum) paled, until I threw my wild card..."Esther vacuums her house." The result? Well see for yourself.

If You Only Knew

2008-11-21T09:55:00.003-07:00

Would you allow your 4 year old to dress herself? Here's a warning if you would... Yes those are socks over her tights.

How I'm Loved

2008-11-18T07:31:00.006-07:00

Yesterday was your very owns birthday....and look what I got from some of my favorite California people.

*excuse the poor quality and just think about those lovely fuzzy faces that love me*

Oh What a Morning, Oh What a Day

2008-11-07T11:24:00.004-07:00

Providence has been crying...no sobbing this last half hour. Over what you may ask, because I sure did when I discovered her in such a crushed state. Because she wants to grow up and get married. Let that sink in for a minute...my 4 year old is wrecked because she wants to get married. So we prayed for her husband-to-be and then I asked her why she wanted to get married so badly she said that she wanted kids as new tears sprang into her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and asked if she would hold them and kiss them like this, she assured me that she would and then burst into a fresh series of sobs as a new idea struck her...She might miss me when she get's married.

Just another day with Providence, I think she enjoys these bouts of misery.

Who Say's I'm Blind?

2008-11-05T21:25:00.003-07:00

I don't really see the resemblance between me and my daughter I've been hearing we have from so many. But I sure wouldn't change a thing.

Today If You Will Hear

2008-11-03T14:20:00.001-07:00

O Come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker. For He is our God; and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand. To day if you will hear His voice Psalm 95:6&7

I read this tonight while I was putting Providence to bed. It gave me peace in light of the election...or even in light our two party candidates, I am the LORDS and I will hear His voice, everything else just kind of fades away. Not in some crazy spiritual way, I do live here on earth, but my God is Lord still and I will serve Him.

If you hear His voice today you will be in His hand also.

When I voted yesterday I got butterfly's, yes I did and today there is much to smile at, and life to live.

A Need For Speed

2008-11-03T11:33:00.002-07:00

I got pulled over Saturday on my way to a baby shower, I'm sorry to say it's not my first time and likely not my last either. I've received 2 (or 3) speeding tickets, at least 1 parking ticket and a smattering of fix-it tickets but I have had my license for nearly 10 years.

I've always loved going fast, not a risk taking kind of fast, just a pleasant in control road eating kind of fast, let me tell you it was a sad day for me when I discovered my new car had an automatic shut off at 105. I'm admitting this because you see I am being sanctified, it's just a long hard road for me. If I was comfortable with the car and road I used to drive at least 20 miles over the speed limit nearly always. Since having Providence I've definitely reigned it in, but I guess still push the limit. I don't try to do it, it's my car...really, it wants to go fast.

On Saturday I was shown mercy, and have tried to take it to heart by using cruise control to keep my speeding ways down. I think what I need to do is one day go to the salt flats (or another such place) so I can speed to my hearts content.

Halloween In A Nutshell (Or How 'bout a Pumpkin Seed?)

2008-11-01T08:53:00.014-06:00

Peter Pans and Tinker Bells (that's us you know) treating began around 3, where all the downtown shops were handing out candy like it was ice on the hottest day of the summer. We walked around for about two hours collecting the goods before heading off the to next function.

Kelsey, (you know the one you just had a baby 9 days ago, and is up and about like some kind of super women) invited us to attend a church harvest party with their family, so there's where we were from 6-9. The kids had fun but it was so overwhelming to have hundreds of people around you (and I'm sure it didn't help any that I insisted that we do every single game). This harvest party had two incredibly large rooms, one filled with games and candy and the other with bouncy houses, bouncy slides, and a rock climbing wall (by the way you may not be able to tell but I italicized the S's so you would recognize that we're talking plural here, I want you to know just how big these rooms were that they could fit multiple bouncy structures). I was quite done when Providence decided that she wanted to try the rock climbing wall and we slipped into line (I must say with a poor attitude on my part). 40 minutes later we've advanced about half the line, yes that's 4-0! Pity me if you will. Kelsey (a life savor by the way) finally came over and convinced Providence to forsake the rock climbing (something I had been trying to do since the beginning) and enjoy a few other things.

Once loaded up at 9 I debated upon going to yet another party at a friends and Providence concluded that we should go. I really wanted to as well but I was trying to think about sleep, so I decided that if she fell asleep in the car it would be to bed with us both. Providence proved that with enough sugar in your blood your eyes won't close if you're trying, so off we went.We arrived there about 9:30 and enjoyed a bit slower pace, visiting and playing with the kids. Time flew away and we didn't leave till 11, but there was a sugar crash on the way home and Providence fell asleep.

To my horror upon returning home I found the bowl I left out filled with candy for the trick-or-treaters untouched. So now not only did Providence gather a bounty but I have that bowl also. I poured Providence's into a bowl and it filled up, right to the top. This is no ordinary bowl either, it's the biggest bowl I have.

Then this morning when Providence woke up at 0930 I went in to her to give a snuggle and the first thing she asked was "What have you been eating?" Busted, I had snuck a piece of her candy before breakfast.

The Sweetness Of Family

2008-10-30T19:56:00.004-06:00

Although I am close to my family, we're not the type that laments over long absences of each other. Of course I don't think I've ever gone over 6 months without seeing someone, and here I do have my older brother and his lovely family.

I remember soon after my marriage and immediate move to Hawaii I was a little surprised to find phone calls from my family a welcomed but rare occurrence. I was the first married of my siblings and had imagined myself to be a tragic loss for the family, even in the midst of their happiness for me. This was not the case however, and it seemed a pretty smooth transition all around.

Providence had the most difficulty with our move here, and though I think we're missed by my family a bit more this time around (something about the littles that pulls the at the heart) it's more or less the same thing. We miss each other but the real twinges are few and far between.

I'm having a bit of them now though, not too terribly, but I am most anxiously waiting for their visit in a month and to have the fun that all 5 of us together enjoy.

*Picture taken Christmas 2007*

A Late Start, But One None The Less

2008-10-28T14:57:00.003-06:00

A ways back I decided to begin school with Providence this year, I thought I would just do this and that daily to start with. Well "this and that" was short lived...getting smaller and smaller till it faded completely away (shame on me, I know).

When talking with my sisters about my frustration they strongly encouraged getting a complete curriculum (more for me then Providence), that way I'd have lesson plans and such. I'm a lister, always have been and probably always will be so this sounded fantastic. Well today was our first day and may I just say Providence was soooo ready for this. She loved it and so did I, I felt like I was playing school in second grade and it was very satisfying.

For writing (since it still seems to be hard for Providence) we made letters out of play dough, I was really happy with how hers came out and so was she...then I had her spend 10 quiet minutes coloring in a book and wonder of wonders SHE STAYED IN THE LINES, for the most part anyhow, you can clearly see it's colored and not just scribbled over (which is how nearly all her "artwork" had been in up till now). Seriously one day of school and this, call me crazy but I could see marked improvement from the beginning of the picture to the end.

I love lesson plans, I love having a list, I love coloring in the lines.

Years Past: Part VII

2008-10-26T07:15:00.001-06:00

In Hawaii when the time came for a baby shower a friend offered to hostess it, but since I knew a total of like 10 women and I wanted to include Joe in it and marines are always looking for some way to have a party our guest list ended up being primarily men. What does a baby shower composed chiefly of marines look like? Well to begin: 2 kegs of beer and some food, they'll figure out their own entertainment after that. Our unconventional shower ended up being really fun, and some of the guys even got us presents (like a lunch cooler wrapped in a beer case box with duct tape...I actually still use the cooler). This day is of particular special memory since this pictured was captured, nearly half of these guys were killed in the same helicopter crash Joe died in.

Baby Love Letters: Part V

2008-10-24T08:23:00.004-06:00

Q: What makes you smile?

I smile at the silly things you say, like last night when you were "weighing" my head with a tape measure and told me it weighed 30 seconds.

I smile listening to you recite catechism to yourself and imaginary playmates.

I smile when you sing in church, quite your own words but glorifying the Lord none the less.

I smile when you tell me how much you love me, all the way to the top of the trees and under our bed, across the street and to the first star.

I smile at the questions you ask, the outfits you pick, your hair in the morning, the stories you tell....you make me smile.

And So It Ends

2008-10-22T20:46:00.008-06:00

I have a {another} new niece! I've been bursting to say that all day but Kelsey wanted to present the news and first photos and I grudgingly conceded. Then she took all day to do it, using the excuse that she just gave birth or something.

So, I am now at liberty to say she's here! Everything went well, Kelsey did amazingly, third times a charm (not that she wasn't amazing with the other two). No name, so we're just calling her baby for now. Providence wants to spend every moment at their house, but is thankfully asleep at home now, she was going on no sleep since 4 something this morning.

To view more pictures check out Kelsey's blog.

What's Mine Is Yours

2008-10-22T14:25:00.013-06:00

With the reviews I do over at Simple, we've been getting a fair share of packages in the mail, if they have a P on them Providence automatically thinks they are addressed to her.

She usually finds a "P" somewhere.

This Lord's Day

2008-10-20T07:34:00.004-06:00

On the Lord's day Providence and I play a game and watch a movie together, this week was her pick and we played Candy Land and watched Duma (which was a pretty good movie).

Providence whooped me on the first game, I mean smashed. I think I was still back there with the candy cane man when she won. I am a poor loser...even to little kids, I don't like to lose and I don't like to let them win, I mean what's that going to teach them? I'll admit I've gotten a little softer, I'll even do a slow jog from time to time in a "race." But for the most part you play to win, right?

So into our second game it began to look up when Providence got stuck on some licorice not once but twice, I could taste sweet victory when low and behold she somehow made it to two squares behind me and then passed me it was a real nail biter but thankfully I recovered at the last minute and sailed in to win by like 5 squares. She then insisted we play another game so we went 2 of 3. She beat me again, badly again, but I consoled myself by realizing it's a game of complete chance, even so I'm still licking my wounds.

I still enjoy playing games, even when I lose so perhaps I'm not too much of a poor sport.

I want to go to an Eric Hutchingson concert for my birthday (it's around then) but don't really have anyone to go with. Is it completely pathetic to go to a concert by yourself? It doesn't sound too fun, anyone done it?

My FACE For The World

2008-10-18T10:19:00.004-06:00

I joined facebook today, seriously. So I now have a blog, myspace, and facebook all about ME...is that vain?

I think it will get confusing, I've already nearly dropped myspace and only go on if someone's left a message or a comment...and I don't quite know how facebook works, but I guess one figures these things out if one wants too.

Beginning to End

2008-10-16T20:03:00.010-06:00

When your day starts with finding cat vomit all over the floor of your bedroom, and then (before that's even properly cleaned up) discover your foster kittens, however cute they are, have defecated in the bathtub and tracked it all over the bathroom, it looks like bad beginnings, especially when you need to be out of the house by 10 which seems to be tricky for me even on a good day (boy how's that for a run-on sentence). And this right after I publicly announced my preference for these creatures.

The morning held no shadow over the rest of the day however, and we enjoyed overpriced pumpkin picking with some friends. The price included the hayride and any pumpkin you could carry out, with age based prices. I figured I could make up for my expensive "adult" pumpkin by encouraging Providence to pick a big "small child" priced pumpkin, the catch- she had to carry it herself, any help by an adult would result in an adult price. So her large could-barely-lift-it pumpkin got downsized on the way back to the wagon...twice.

The day finished up nicely, Kelsey was over all day doing laundry (since her machine was leaking), it encouraged me to get down to business about my pile, which though clean had been sitting around for weeks waiting to be folded and put away. I wish I had a picture to show you the monstrosity that was this pile, but you'll just have to imagine, if you can. And I finally put up the flag cases housing the flags I received at Joe's funeral. I didn't find a stud first (sorry dad) I hope they don't come crashing down on my head.

I'd say in the end the day was redeemed.

For The Second Time

2008-10-14T19:39:00.005-06:00

For the second time in my blogging career I'm doing a tagged post and interestingly (or perhaps not so very) it's about the same thing as last time:

The Rules

Link to the person who tagged you, that'd be you Jaime

Post rules on your blog

Write six random things about yourself

Tag six people at the end of your post

Let each person know they've been tagged

Let the tagger know when you've posted your own randomness

1.) I can hock a loogie as good as any man I've met, seriously I've gotten compliments when I was younger. I try to stay more lady like now and keep it to walks and bike rides but I actually like to do it

2.) I file everything, like I still have pay stubs from 10 years ago...but they are filed.

3.) I like my lips, and am so grateful that God gave me my dad's and not my mom's rail thin ones (even though I love my mom and think she's beautiful)

4.) I love bangs, and want them everytime I cut my hair, but then I don't style them and have to clip them up all the time, I've done it too many times to count and I want to do it again

5.) I pick up my dogs poop on walks and am haunted from the few times that I haven't...I can still remember two instances from years ago

6.) I like cats better then dogs- there I said it, and if you want to call me crazy cat lady so be it

I tag:

Sweet sisters Ivanna and Osanna because I love them and would like to see if they can come up with anything I don't know

Andrea because she hasn't posted anything in forever

Sara because even though she's been on blogger longer then I have, she's fairly new to actually posting anything

Alison because I've known her nearly her whole life (since diapers baby) and I worry about her especially when I don't hear from her...ahem like now...so call...

The Scatterbrain because I don't know her personally and she was my first blogger stranger (someone that didn't know anyone I knew) at least that I'm aware of, even though she just posted a tag

So there you go, I will be extremely hurt if you refuse to participate and will take it personally, assuming that you just plain dislike me and don't care about me or my feelings at all.

{For those that don't know me, or don't know me well, that last part is sarcastic, very, very, very sarcastic}

So It Begins

2008-10-14T09:29:00.002-06:00

I have a new little niece, hooray! Cadence Rane. Still waiting for the other baby.

Years Past: Part VI

2008-10-12T21:03:00.003-06:00

In my teen years someone from my circle discovered how to make a tattoo gun with a walkman motor and guitar string, so most if not all of my friends sported at least one homemade tat from someone or other (I know my brother is responsible for some of those horrors). Basically it was like doodling something on a piece of paper only instead it's someones arm...think uneven mess. Think really, really smart.

As a silly 15 year old, one evening I thought it was high time I too had one of these beauty's and proceeded to use a safety pin and pen ink. Not my first run it with safety pins...I'd also used them to pierce my eyebrow on multiple occasions as well as my bellybutton and additional holes in my ears. However after a few rounds of my current safety pin project I decided it wasn't getting it done and I needed the "gun" (if you could call it that) since it was taking soooo long.

It ended up so small and hoopty that I've never really called it real, and until I actually got a tattoo (professionally) if anyone asked if I had one I'd say no, not wanting to show my quarter inch 7 and explain why it's there.

I must say I am grateful that I chose to make it so tiny since it hasn't faded at all and I was so sure it would. I've thought about doing something little to cover it up, and perhaps at some point I will. But for now when I see it I'm reminded of what I was and the work Christ has done in my life, and we all should have some kind of reminder for that.

Baby Love Letters: Part IV

2008-10-10T09:14:00.007-06:00

It's been over a month since I've written a love letter to Providence, if what's in my heart can't get through to my head I'll just have to stumble along.

Q: How do you stay flexible when changes come into your life?

I have always greatly admired those flexible among us, ones that bend over backwards yet you wouldn't know they do. One particular woman and her family shines as an example to me of hospitality and flexibility, among other things.

When your father died, I was like the walking dead. It seemed like I was in a fog and couldn't see anything clearly, I couldn't even understand what people were saying sometimes. That first trip back to California for the funeral was hard, walking in my dreamlike state while all these strangers around me not knowing what I was going through. Wanting nothingness, quiet and nothingness. I didn't want to hear the everyday life of others, mine had ended and to see others go on was agony.

Knowing that my parents home would be a flurry of activity some friends offered their home as a base for me, a place to stay and keep quiet for me. At the time I just went where I was told and slept on the bed provided. Looking back I see how incredibly flexible this dear family was, having literally just moved into their home and experiencing two back to back miscarriages within months, they still saw a need and gave their own room and bed to fill it.

Those who can look outside themselves in the midst of their own pain and huge changes are truly selfless people and I cannot pretend to be in that class, but by and by, as the Lord works, I may one day.

Hua and Karl, you are a beautiful illustration of Christian love, thank you for being in our lives.

Last Chance

2008-10-08T14:16:00.000-06:00

Today is the last day to sign up for our Simple Mom Search.

Creation Of The Mind

2008-10-08T08:59:00.002-06:00

What do blankets, couch cushions, chairs, tables, and pillows say to you? To Providence they say FORT! (And there is usually some variation made every other day or so)

Breakfasting Observed

2008-10-06T11:25:00.004-06:00

Last week I read CS Lewis' A Grief Observed, I was rather surprised to read so many feelings that I had. Surprised more so to find I no longer have many of the feelings I once did, and really how far away that rawness feels. Yes waves may still rush over from time to time, and they may always. But I'm no longer walking in a dreamlike state, waiting for nothing knowing it will never come back again, yet waiting and waiting. For life? To feel life. To want to feel it. I know that each persons grief is different, but reading words that my heart has felt was good, to see where it's been, and where it's at. I'm not as happy as I once was, but I think I can say that I may have more joy, and peace. That something is deeper, and that I love my Lord more and more.

And on to daily life: Providence wanted to have an indoor picnic for breakfast, she made us cereal and laid a blanket out for our eating pleasure, what a lovey.

Busy Like There's Something To Do

2008-10-04T15:10:00.013-06:00

It's been raining off and on today, so besides the attending the regular storytime at the library this week we also went to a story/craft time today. Fancy Nancy was the theme and we made crowns after reading, singing, and dancing, yes even moms (sung and danced that is, unfortunately we didn't get to make crowns. How cool would mine have been...um really {in case you didn't pick that up} to get an idea I added the feather on Providence's crown, and that's just a small taste of what I can create, baby). They also had a dress up basket filled with fun. Providence insisted I be included. She likes us to match, but I don't mind it too much either. I'll even admit to getting dressed some days and somehow Providence ends up in something quite similar, I don't know how it happens sometimes, but my subconscious has to be working it out. So to end this bit we like the library, I think I've said it before...well the library likes us too.
And you can totally see my crows feet emerging in this pic, I feel so grown up!

When we got home our neighborly neighbor invited us over to check out their horses they just brought to their property, even Mary Scot was invited, so with a break in the rain (and a very beautiful one too) we walked over there and checked them out, Providence has even been invited to ride one of them next time they saddle them up. We couldn't very well come home before getting a few jumps in on the trampoline. What is with getting older? Everything fun turns dangerous, all I was thinking about was catapulting off the thing and getting severely injured.

While I was busy typing up our day thus far, Providence was busy teaching school (have I mentioned she wants to be a teacher when she grows up? No? Well that's another story). Those dogs may look well behaved but don't be fooled. Some of them are in BIG trouble for not looking forward, and you're supposed to pay attention to your teacher, you know. Mary Scot takes the cake for being the disruptive student however, she kept harassing the teacher, and I'm pretty sure that's frowned upon at school.

Brie And Crackers

2008-10-04T07:32:00.000-06:00

Brie is an adored treat in our house, though usually only enjoyed at parties. As an extra special -but for no particular reason- evening I occasionally will make a fun "dinner" of brie and crackers. We even have a song we sing while we prepare:

Brie and crackers
Brie and crackers
So yummy
So yummy
I can't wait to have some
I can't wait to have some
So yummy
So yummy

sung to the tune of Frère Jacques

Are You Simple?

2008-10-02T09:28:00.003-06:00

I have been reviewing products for awhile now over at Simple. We feature a wide range of products and often host giveaways for the products reviewed. If you are interested at what real moms have to say and possibly score your own new item to try out yourself, you should check us out.

We are also searching for a new Simple mama to keep up with the days of the week, if you are interested in applying, check out the button link below.

The Waiting Game

2008-10-02T08:55:00.002-06:00

I have two niece/nephews arriving any day now. I am just waiting, and waiting to get the call the one is preparing to make their appearance.

My brother-in-law's fiancee Ray was due September 27 with a baby girl, and brothers wife Kelsey is due October 6 with a surprise, though of course we know it to be a baby.

My wait may not be of the same magnitude as the mama's, but I do wait in great anticipation.

Hello Human

2008-09-30T07:09:00.004-06:00

Learning that all mankind is human, Providence has taken to calling us just that. It's made for some comical sentences, like at church when she said "Mom, did you see that human help me?" While glad that she can tell the difference between human and non using the word to describe those around us sounds so mechanical but it makes me laugh every time.

Another thing that made me laugh was when we pulled out Dairy of a Fly by Doreen Cronin to read from our library bag. Chanting the title while we settled down Providence as usual wanted to "read" the title once more before I opened it and slowly said "Diarrhea of a Fly" I busted up, no wonder she was so excited to begin reading.

On another note, in church she bit herself when I told her she needed to be quiet. She did it again later in the day, and it rather disturbs me. It's not the first time she's inflicted injury on herself purposefully. There is a girl she looks up to and adores that bonks her head to be silly or when she's made a mistake or is embarrassed. Providence now does the same thing. Is this something to ignore, or talk about? I am extremely uncomfortable with it and have told Providence that we should not purposefully harm our bodies. We are after all a temple of the Lord and should be caring for our bodies as such right?

Boys and Girls

2008-09-26T14:03:00.003-06:00

I am totally having writers block with the Friday Letters, I know what I want to say, at leas how it feels, it just isn't getting from my mind into something readable. So instead of staring at a blank page trying to pry words from my mind I will take a purposeful break this Friday in lieu of spending all day thinking that I need to get something down.

I decided this when my daughter innocently told me that Snow White hates Sponge Bob (apparently a very wicked sponge) but didn't know how to kill him, still quietly musing about it her face suddenly lit up considerably and she exclaimed "I know she can get a gun!" Her infrequent "let's kill it" attitude, like growling out "I'm a Princess Captain, and NEVER nice." has perhaps given me a small glimpse of what you mothers with boys go through daily, fighting, killing and mayhem. Don't get me wrong I can sword fight with the best of them*. I also can make killer lego rifles, and can make explosion sounds with my mouth. I just like being able to have tea parties, watch my daughter "nurse" her baby, and play pretty dress-up too. There's a reason boys and girls are different, and yes they are different no matter how similar you try to make them.

*Disclaimer: I can sword fight with the best of them - that is a blatant lie, I cannot sword fight with the best of sword fighters, I can however turn miscellaneous household objects into swords and swing them around while enjoying myself.

It's Official

2008-09-24T14:56:00.004-06:00

September 2004 - September 2005 - September 2006 - September 2007

September 2008

We are officially working on year five now.

A 4th Birthday Party

2008-09-22T09:22:00.008-06:00

The party went fantastically, even with the torrential downpour, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately I didn't take many pictures, in fact I didn't take any pictures. Kelsey kindly did take some, though when I was looking through the ones taken I found more of her children then anything else (I don't blame you too much, first of all I wasn't clear that I wanted you to take pictures and secondly we all know your kids are pretty darn cute). So back to the party- for those unaware we had a Helen Keller party. Providence, who thinks Helen Keller is amazing and will often pretend to be her, has been requesting a Helen Keller party for ages (that's about 6 months to a 3 year old). Having never been to a Helen Keller party we had to get a little creative, I did rule out putting blindfolds and earplugs on all children as they entered pretty early on. The end result of my deliberations was losing one sense at a time. First sight: we did that with a game, I put some common objects in a couple of boxes and cut a hole to put your hand in to guess what the objects were by feeling alone. Next hearing: which I didn't actually try to take away, instead we all learned to sign the song "Happy Birthday" while we sang. We also had cupcakes to decorate, and rooms to play in. I had a great time and hope that everyone else who attended enjoyed it as much as I did.

After the party it was very much necessary to parade some of the new fashions acquired. And then just as necessary to parade around naked in the rain.

Meth Project

2008-09-18T11:38:00.005-06:00

Since living here in Idaho there are somethings that I have had to get used to that are quite different from my Santa Cruz, CA hometown. One of them has been billboards. In Santa Cruz county I believe there is just one, yes one in the whole county. Here however you see them every few feet, not even limited to the highway but they're on main city streets too. These lovely works of art *does my sarcasm show through?* have caused many conversations with my little one, but by far the most memorable was caused by this kindly informative series:I have always felt that honesty is the best policy when it comes to telling children things but I also believe that an honest answer to a three year old may be different (in how much is told) then an honest answer to a thirteen year old. Thrown completely off guard with Providence's questions when she had her first meeting with the girl-in-the-hospital billboard I unfortunately answered the questions to a thirteen year old. I pretty much I gave her my entire, albeit limited, knowledge of the drug.

Now I didn't wake up one day thinking that I would need to have a drug talk with my three year old, I had not planned a drug talk, so I spewed forth more information then I would have preferred had I actually had a chance to think about it beforehand.

Providence is strangely fascinated with the girl in the hospital, she hopes to see her every time we go out and will excitedly point out the "drug girl" as we drive by. After that fateful day of questioning every time she played doctor it was to take care of the drug girl. If she wanted me to be the doctor she would tell me that she has been doing crystal meth, um yes rather disturbing from a three year old but I was at a complete loss as to how to turn this into something redeeming.

One day my brother Aaron heard her new game and talked with me about it, after our conversation I asked him to talk with Providence. He told her that drugs are very serious and not something to joke about, and that we shouldn't "play" doing drugs. She stopped pretending to do crystal meth, though she still does get excited when we approach the billboard and talks about her (the drug-girl) often.

I learned a valuable lesson too, if I have not thought about a subject it's ok to keep silent and tell Providence I will think about her questions before answering.

To see or read more about the Meth Project visit Idaho Meth Project

Sometimes They Need Some Fun Too

2008-09-16T20:17:00.004-06:00

Ever wondered what a "book picnic" looked like. Providence was kind enough to demonstrate.

A Day Late And A Dollar Short

2008-09-16T07:21:00.000-06:00

This past week was dreadful, I mean there were bright patches throughout and it certainly ended remarkably better then it began, but it was still a hard week. One of the hardships was losing a library movie, now don't laugh, it was very distressing to me. I hate misplacing things and misplacing things that don't belong to me is really up there on my stress-o-meter, that combined with a few other misplaced items, oh yeah and the constant whining of my daughter, a broken vacuum cleaner and just feeling out of sorts made for a rocky week.

Towards the end it did start start to smooth out. The vacuum wasn't really broken, just clogged, Saturday a number of men from my church came over and installed sprinklers, then that evening we spent an enjoyable dinner at a friends home. Plus I ended up making it a point to try to enjoy my daughters company more. It can get hard sometimes when it's just the two of us day in and day out, and yes sometimes I need to force myself to enjoy her.

This week we seem to be doing better, I feel like I have more to give, and therefore can handle more. Which strangely makes there less to handle. Yesterday I decided to just pay the lost fine at the library while I was there, even though it wasn't technically due till today. I had searched my entire house and car and felt like there was a weight hanging on me, a shadow over my head, I wanted it released.

Well guess what Providence found 1 hour after returning home?

Years Past: Part V

2008-09-14T15:31:00.006-06:00

While living in Hawaii I met some really good friends. With the military you make fast and often lifelong friends, in fact meeting and befriending those who you may otherwise not (in your typical civilian setting), is a normal occurrence.

One of Joe's friends had gotten married about a year after we did so when he brought his lovely bride to live in Hawaii we naturally became quick friends, especially when we found out we were expecting within two weeks of each other. Though there may have been some hardships (like the four of us living together for a month and the two women fairly newly pregnant...and it's not a good combination if you're wondering) we pushed passed it since with both of our husbands deployed for last bits of pregnancy and the births of our children we ended up spending alot of time together.

We did, both of us, have family coming out for the births of our children so we wouldn't be all alone, of course babies don't really care about waiting for people.

So when she called me in the middle of the night a little over three weeks before her due date saying she thought her water may have broken, I told her I'd be over in a minute to take her to the hospital (which is where she was planning her birth). Ah, the days before kids, I literally could be over in a minute, I just rolled out of bed and pulled on some clothes.

Once at the hospital we found that her water had indeed broken and that since she was nearly 37 weeks but not really going into labor they wanted to induce. So that's what happened, there was a fairly awkward moment when the nurse asked if I was going to stay with her. Since neither of us had planned for me to be there she didn't know if I wanted to be there and I didn't know if she wanted me to be there. We got over it quickly though when we looked at each other and knew that I would be staying. And so began her 12 hour or so labor ( I can't remember how long it was, but it seemed to take forever, poor thing).

Part of my duties was to talk to her mom and husband (who was able to call through out) each in turn, and keep them updated. Encourage her to rest while she was able and to get ice chips. We got a good laugh when one of the nurses thought it was me in labor getting my own ice chips.

I had never experience a hospital birth, but I got a front row seat with that one. And while I couldn't recommend a hospital birth based on that experience (so impersonal) I was very honored to be there, I even got to cut the cord for this little bundle.
One year later...We'd stayed in touch, though we both moved when our husband's were killed in the same helicopter crash. I was even able to fly out to visit them for the 1st birthday.Hard to believe it's now been over four years!

Brown Noser In Pink Leather Slippers

2008-09-10T12:13:00.022-06:00

Providence loved her dance class and her teacher, perhaps a little too much. The whole class was sprinkled...actually more like bathed...with "look what I can do." She made sure she was by Miss Alexis' side as much as possible so she could gaze up at her adoringly, and with only three kids total in the class she didn't have much competition. She learned First Position and a few other things who's terms I have already forgotten. Unfortunately Providence was leader this class which meant she would claim her rightful place as first in everything while the other two gracefully made way for her. I fear she'll have a rude awakening next week when she will have to be one to follow, so we'll have lots to work on in the next week, most of which have to do with class etiquette.

I'll Dance To That

2008-09-08T11:37:00.003-06:00

Providence starts dance class this week at a small studio nearby thanks to Gram and Grandpa Jim (it was their birthday present to her) she'll be in the Tiny Toes class. We went to an open house on Saturday and met her teacher who is pregnant and really nice. With all these belly's around Providence it's no wonder she wants a sibling so bad. She actually suggested awhile back that we go to the movie theater to see if there were any boys that wanted to marry me. Ha! I explained that we don't man-hunt especially at the movie theater on a Sunday morning.

At least her grand plans can make me laugh now instead of wanting to burst into tears.

Yesterday I was asked how old I am, and I didn't know. I was able to answer eventually because I remembered the year I was born, but I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

Green For Green

2008-09-06T07:03:00.004-06:00

I like recycling, I like composting, I like bagging my groceries with the mis-matched cloth bags I carry around (and the few cents I save). My main household cleaner? Vinegar. I love the smell of clothes fresh off the line. I don't litter and in fact will from time to time clean up other peoples litter. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding, home births, cloth diapers, and baby wearing. I prefer to be natural in pretty much every aspect from using garlic to draw out infections, to applying oils instead of lotions, to my pine cat litter. A few years ago these things earned me a label of hippie from some friends (ok the lack of bra, and infrequent showers may have played a part) so when the the cutely coined phrase "green" came out I was happy to shed my hippieness which gave some dreadlocked, patchouli scented, grass smoking, bell-bottom wearing connotations which were not really me, in exchange for it.

Now it's so hip to Go Green, Be Green, Green Living. Good grief people. How different are you living? Is recycling and cloth bags really that new of a concept? It seems as though a volcano has erupted and the lava spewing forth is some kind of green muck. Don't get me wrong I'm glad to see others enjoying some of these things that I have been for most of my life, but now I don't want to be stuck with this label either, the connotations are even worse. Because you see, I like to eat meat, I wear leather shoes, I don't buy into the global warming propaganda and get sick of hearing about it, nor do I believe that the world is over-populated.

So if I don't think I am saving our planet one cloth bag at a time, but I still want to be a wise and faithful steward of the area's I have dominion over what does that make me?

Perhaps I'll go back to being called a hippie, I kind of like dreadlocks now.

Tried And True

2008-09-04T20:04:00.004-06:00

As Providence was taking care of her dolly tonight it got me reminiscing about time spent with her. Baby is a treasured hand me down from Auntie, and she's seen her share of life with Providence, in fact she's been around so long her name has never been more then "baby." The wild and crazy hair adorning her head fits right with my wild and crazy young'un, who has pretty wild hair herself. And even though for Providence's 2nd birthday a dear family friend made baby a number of outfits, she's more often naked as a jay bird...hmmm, another thing they have in common.

When You Take Something To Bed

2008-09-02T14:56:00.005-06:00

You usually don't want sharp corners but Providence was so cute when she said she wanted to sleep with her daddy, I let her.

We are beginning school this week which includes me making list's and schedules, they look fantastic on paper but transferring it to daily life will be a challenge. Reminder to self: flexibility is good, and you cannot be flexible without having plans.

Also I have been taking Mary Scot out on bike rides, they've been fairly short but she LOVES to run, I like it too though Providence is kind of outgrowing her bike seat behind me. If I really get down to peddling I have to say over and over "move those legs." We also learned that swaying side to side in a bike seat is not nearly as safe as in a car seat.

Those Overflowing Cups

2008-09-02T14:23:00.005-06:00

My surprise of the day yesterday was a new lawn mower arriving.

Stand back grass, you will over-grow no longer!

And one more surprise I did my own blog make-over, I changed colors and made the header with no support. I am so proud! I'm not quite ready to write my own codes but tweaking already written ones opens a whole new world! Good for me, pat on the back.

Baby Love Letters: Part III

2008-08-29T09:23:00.005-06:00

Q: What inspires me?Everything that should, scripture, books, music, nature.

Some silly things like making lists, plans, and schedules.

Solid things like other widows joyful in the Lord's will. Because I fall, stumble, stutter, and fail so often.

My siblings, particularly at the moment Uncle Uriah. I see in him a young man hungry for the Lord, a lover of family, I see that children can rise up and call their parents blessed without using words. That his character speaks to them and the whole family, blessing each member and the extensions.

Young families not afraid to call their children a blessing or to have their quiver full. That disregard what others may say and are faithful and joyful to raise many children in the Lord.

Older families that have done this.Being a mother and of course you. Your openness and love for the world around you. The teachable spirit you exhibit, the joyful smiles you give me. You inspire and challenge me to be a better mother, a better teacher, a better women, a better Christian.

Words And Their Teachers

2008-08-27T09:14:00.006-06:00

You know how words don't seem so wrong till they come out of your child? Lately Providence has began using the adjective stupid. Each time this comes out of her mouth I wince, it sounds so un-childlike. I am not entirely sure where she picked this up, though I think I may be able to once again blame Auntie Iv (she's taught her all her other "bad" words, like butt and po-po). The evidence I have against her is this: This morning Providence asked me to tell her a story, one that Auntie told her, though Auntie thought it was stupid after, Providence didn't. I then vaguely recalled the story and Ivanna at the end of telling it, admitting that it was kind of stupid. So there you have it. Yes I am presenting evidence with the words of a three year old who told everyone I was busy picking my nose when in fact I was scratching my nose, the bridge of it not in it, (it was peeling slightly from a sunburn). So finger pointed, blame shifted, thanks Ivanna for adding another such colorful word into my daughters vocabulary, glad we can still get doses of you from far away.

Back and Recovering

2008-08-25T20:05:00.004-06:00

Camping was fantastic, I got to see mountains, hills and trees again, play in sand and water, and it didn't really get over 80 something. Plus sans phones and computers, but keeping things like a refrigerator was the perfect balance.
While catching up on blogs I downloaded some free music that I am really enjoying listening to, check it out yourself and get a new free album.

We're Going Camping Now

2008-08-21T09:20:00.003-06:00

We're on our way...

We'll be back next week.

PS And we are in fact going trailer camping meaning we have a refrigerator, and a bed of sorts.

That's A Wrap

2008-08-19T08:57:00.004-06:00

This last Sunday at church Providence "sang" all the songs. Not in the robust way she does in California but it is the first time she's sung each song at church here. She is also much more confident when she plays with friends at their houses, and by the way speaking of confidence the biggest moment of all....she spent the night at her cousins house. Yes, a whole night away from me, and she did great. It was on Joy's birthday, they stayed up late watching a movie and eating chocolate chips then she snuggled up with Auntie Kelsey and they talked till they fell asleep. I, on the other hand, woke up every half hour expecting the phone call that never came.

Years Past: Part IV

2008-08-17T07:31:00.003-06:00

This one is remembered with many smiles, and so I apologize once again to the victim for my continued untimely laughter.

The story is set the summer I turned 18, (except I didn't turned 18 in the summer I already had previous to it). Accompanied with two friends I went gallivanting off in Europe, my traveling companions were Boy A and Girl B (in case they prefer to remain nameless, though I don't think either of them read my blog). These were the days before digital cameras, certainly at least for me, so I have taken a picture of a picture in my scrapbook to share. Also we apparently really didn't think any of us were worth film because I couldn't find one picture with all three of us.

We had spent a few fun weeks in England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland and were ready to test the waters of some non-english speaking countries. So we said good-bye to the white cliffs of Dover and hello to Calais, France. When we got off the fairy we were met with a fairly small town at least in our immediate walking distance and armed only with our much-to-large backpacks and walking shoes we went in search of a place to lay our heads...and searched...and searched, turns out communicating is pretty important when trying to get directions.

We finally stumbled across a sign that had a tent and an arrow on it (hallelujah for picture signs) and followed the arrows all the way to a campground. Though we had no tent we paid for a spot as there were bathrooms and showers. It was the middle of summer and we did not account for the sea wind that Calais has, as in knock-you-down wind, we hoped since we would be close to the ground that none of us would fly away in the night and that our trusty sleeping bags would keep us warm.

As night fell we put all valuables into our sleeping bags pulled our backpacks up close to use as pillows and carefully placed our shoes next to our heads. Taking off her shoes Girl B said "Wouldn't it suck if someone stole our shoes?" I agreed that it certainly would since we had only brought one pair each. We then all stayed awake under the great big sky talking about things that had happened, things we were looking forward to, things we were worried about, and who we were missing back home.

We slept all night on the hard earth with wind whipping around and did not wake up once. To be that young again...or maybe just that tired. When my eyes finally opened the next day I was greeted with a beautiful morning. Boy A had already awakened and was up showering but Girl B continued to snooze away. I noticed then that the shoes she had so carefully arranged were not there anymore and happy to play along I asked her where her shoes were. This sat her up, and she groggily began searching in the very empty space they had been the night before, while I laughed heartily at her joke. Unfortunately when she told me through clenched teeth that it was not a joke but that someone had indeed stolen them, it did not stifle my laughter as I think she was hoping. No, instead it brought a new round of louder uncontrollable laughter, and each time I looked at her would bring on more.

Eventually I was able to control myself, she bought new shoes, and we continued on our way (she did forgive me then too).

And my shoes? Well they made it safely home, and are still occasionally worn.

Baby Love Letters: Part II

2008-08-15T22:03:00.005-06:00

Q: What is my favorite memory of a summer day?To try and whittle favorite summer memories down to one is nearly impossible. I've had fun lazy summers with Aunties and Uncles, travel filled ones- in which I visited 9 countries in 6 weeks, or been on road trips, summers with births, summers with bikes, I've even had wasted summers (which don't particularly make it in the running), but I think my favorite summer memory is a fairly recent one, four years ago to be exact. The summer I was pregnant with you.

Since your father was deploying soon he received his pre-deployment leave in June of '04, with nearly everybody else in the Battalion traveling home for their leave we spent many glorious days without seeing anybody but each other. We went snorkeling, miniature golfing, to movies, on walks...but most days we spent at home playing cards, I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life, or been that euphorically happy. I'm glad that in a small way you were able to know me then, to hear that laugh...the laugh your father gave me.

Though this memory is not specific, where I can write in on paper to share. My heart can still at times catch that feeling I had during those days, as if my heart had wings and could never come down. Unable to stop smiling. How different my smiles feel now.

I love spending summers with you, eating melon, going on picnic's, hearing you squealing with delight when some water makes its way to you on a hot afternoon. I hope each summer will become more memorable for you, not so much what is done, but the happiness shared. And I hope that you will one day experience a summer as rapturously blissful as the last one I shared with your dad.

Spectacular - Spectacular

2008-08-13T07:50:00.004-06:00

Providence's newest necessity has been a cape, yesterday she was adorned with only this, underwear and a belt, what can I say she marches to her own beat when she picks out her outfits.Check out Simple and sign up for a chance to win your own spectacular cape.

Starting Early

2008-08-13T07:27:00.003-06:00

Providence loves the phone, recently she learned about hand free headsets and she's sold. She will ask to call someone, then once I dial and someone answers she will go off on her own for a loooong time. The longest has been just under two hours. Mostly she calls Oma, Grandpa, Aunties, and Uncle. They each bring something to the table, grandpa feeds Oko (Providence's duck that is back in California) so she gets to hear her quacking, Oma will read books over the phone for HOURS, Uncle tells many stories, and Aunties converse and remember things with Providence.

As much as I'm sure my family loves these conversations, I have started to feel bad for them now that they became a daily occurrence. I mean it just eats up the morning. So when Providence asked something about Grandpa Jim (Joe's dad) I suggested that she call him to ask him herself, she was off in a shot for her headset. Unfortunately he was working, but Providence was nicely consoled by talking with Gram for a good while and a promise that Grandpa Jim would call the next day.

I wonder what it will be like when she's a teenager, she's already on the phone more then I am...

He Showers His Blessings

2008-08-11T07:07:00.004-06:00

After my husband Joe died money was the last worry on my mind. I had always been the worrier and now I had excess. I was in need of nothing financially. I bought what I wanted, what Providence wanted, enjoyed being much more liberal then I had ever been in my life and with a heart that Joe had always displayed towards money.

When I purchased my new home 9 or so months ago I had plans of paying it off in 15 years. I dreamed of what I wanted to do with the house and did many of the improvements dreamed to make it mine. And why not? I had the money to.

In spring I found out that 2/3's of my monthly income (from investments) have ceased. My principle cannot be touched, in fact there are so many legal problems that I have heard rumors that investors could be getting just 30% of their principle and it could take up to 10 years to even get that.

Hard times, everyone seems to be experiencing them in some way or other. For the first time in years I had work out a budget, and yet no matter which way I figured for the first time ever my income did not match the smallest budget I could figure. After much agonizing, I realized, this is the Lord's money and the Lord's house if I lose it before owning it for even a year, then He will provide another way for me.

The Lord is faithful, that much I have learned. That much I can rest my life on.

I have found so many things to be grateful for in this trial.

Reliance on others, this is hard for me. I, like most people, want to be reliant on no one but myself, and occasionally the Lord.

Working a budget. It makes me feel more productive.

Surrendering- money, security, lifestyle.

When my parents and siblings visited in July we all had a family meeting about what I should do now, do I look for a job? Do I sell the house? To my amazement my dear family gathered together, looked over my budget and figured out a way to supplement my income with sharing part of their own. They felt my place was to be with Providence (as did I) and did all they could to keep that as goal.

Then this Sunday after church one of the men approached me and said that the church wanted to put in a lawn for me. I was so overwhelmed, there were no words I could say that would express how deeply grateful I was. This was a desire I have had since moving in but have been unable to accomplish because once it stopped freezing overnight my income froze making it impossible. I didn't see grass entering our life for many many years.

I don't like to share these hardships, I tell myself it's to not burden others but I think the truth of the matter is that it's rather embarrassing. I don't have it all together, not that anyone thought I did...except maybe me. But with my heart full of gratefulness to my family and church for stepping in and meeting my needs I'm learning that being a Christian is not just about meeting needs, it's about sharing them too. It's about humbling your heart, and relying on Christ.

My eyes see only His blessings, how Lord can you continue to shower them on one such as I?

My heart is full, and it sings,

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Worse Then That

2008-08-09T07:47:00.004-06:00

After talking with Aaron about my mail problem it was realized that kids taking my mail was in fact not the worst, it could have been stolen by someone much more sinister...that now has checks with my banking information and signature, as well as account information of some credit cards.

Where Oh Where Can My Mail Have Gone

2008-08-09T07:31:00.002-06:00

My mail is missing...a whole stack of bills and one netflix, all sent on the same day, have turned up missing (side rant: this makes no sense, how can something "turn up" missing? If it's turned up it's not missing. And why am I keeping this silly phrase in my post?) The netflix gave me the first clue (see movies are good for something). Mailed on Friday would usually make it returned on Monday. When it was still at large on Wednesday I listed it as missing and checked out my online bank so see if any of the bills have been posted. Sure enough not one of them was, so I spent Friday afternoon calling each company to make repayments.

My missing outgoing mail though is not alone either, I am also missing at least one incoming thing (that I am aware of), and I suffered two days of not getting any mail. That's right when I opened the door there was nothing but a cold hard empty box, which has not happened since I've moved here. There has always been something, catalogs or adds at the very least.

So with mail on the fritz all over the country, at least for myself and cousin Rose (who has actually written numerous posts about her mail service) I wonder what's a feller to do when he can't count on the USPS? Or worse yet, my neighborhood kids...

Blackened

2008-08-07T07:40:00.003-06:00

****Updated****

I do not like things burned, not meat, not cookies, not toast. I did grow up in a household where some did like to eat charcoal, so I know there are some out there, but I am not one of them.

Providence made toast for us and it got a bit blackened, I was thankful when she choose the blacker one for herself and let me have the one with just the edges burned. I must have complained about how dark it was (shame on me) because while eating her slice she remarked that it was still quite tastey and not too burned.

"You take after your Oma" I said, which then launched us into playacting that she actually was Oma, and I Providence. I am quite used to these games and switched gears easily asking 'Oma' why she likes to eat burned things. She answered that she likes them because "Sometimes God just sends them to us." Simple as that. She then went on to tell me that my aunties and mothers brother had just arrived...what the? Mothers brother, I started thinking which great-uncle of mine has she met when I remembered I was in fact Providence, and she Oma, which would make my mothers (aka the real me) brother Uriah. With the strange things she figures out I have to say I am more surprised that it didn't come out as your cousins grandmas daughters brother.

Update:
I found Providence in the kitchen this morning scavenging oven chips, you know when something spills in the oven and turns into some hard black bubble thing. When I asked her what she was doing she said looking for something to eat.

This picture shows three things...

1) I am clearly failing in some motherly duties, like feeding my daughter.

2) I do not clean my oven often (um...ever).

3) She really does like black stuff, and no I did not allow her to eat it.

I'll Eat That Right Up

2008-08-05T07:34:00.000-06:00

"That" being a 3 1/2 foot rattler.

And it was mmm-umm good.

Years Past: Part III

2008-08-03T07:18:00.002-06:00

Many moons ago I was a little girl. Providence loves hearing these long ago stories of when her mom was pint-sized herself. She finds it incredible that I was once her size.As a girl I sported long hair as did all the females in our family. My father loves long hair and he and my mom decided we (the girl side) would all have it if he took care of it. As a child my biggest desire was short hair, but I have learned the beauty of long hair and actually prefer now myself.

I am sure my mother did at times need to brush our hair but I can recall my dad doing it mostly, in fact I can recall him spending most of a night brushing out one of our heads (which had formed a kind-of dreadlock), when everyone else just wanted it cut off to save the trouble. He still brushes my moms hair daily, it's something I remember him doing my entire life.

Wild children we were. Me less so then my twin sisters, but still wild enough that after having my hair brushed out every morning it was a knotty mess by the time I had walked to school (I attended a Private Christian school through 3rd grade, and then home-schooled through graduation). I recall one day having a friend (one with really fine hair that has never seen a tangle) over. I had my hair brushed right before she arrived and as I walked out of my house she said quite amazedly "Your hair is really pretty when it's brushed. I didn't know you did that."

Baby Love Letters: Part I

2008-08-01T07:28:00.006-06:00

Awhile back I was sent a book from Claire (who owns Bambini Boutique) called Held in the Arms of Love. After all this time I still have not begun writing in the book so I thought I would give myself another warm up by doing "Friday Letters" These will be written to Providence, and published here to share words I want to gift to her.

Q: What have you learned?
You have learned boys and girls are different, not only are girl things prettier, but boys don't always like to be princes, while girls are always ready to be princesses.

You have learned about pregnancy and birth, nearly daily you find some new item to deliver, not just dolls but rocks and beads too, even flowers or blades of grass. Nothing is too small or insignificant for you to labor for, and you love each baby fiercely (though most new mamas wouldn't let someone, even the grandma, "borrow" their baby which you did with your most recent rock baby).

You have learned to desire to please not only myself but also our Lord, I can hear your sweet three year old voice asking "Is the Lord pleased too?"

You have learned the letter "P" is for Providence, and excitedly point it out whenever you chance to see one.

You have learned giving can be just as fun as receiving, you often present me with special somethings, and you can now be well counted on to provide handfuls of wildflowers when available.

You have learned to work through shyness, being friendly is important. Even a smile can bring someone joy, and when we refuse to offer that token to others that is selfishness.

You have learned life isn't always happiness, you seem so young to know death as intimately as you do. And though I know you cannot understand it completely you are well acquainted with it. You know life means death too, and with that knowledge you can live it fully, knowing this is the time God has given you.

I am blessed to see your mind comprehend new things, and I know as you grow and mature not only with your life be richer but so will mine.

Girls and Dresses

2008-07-30T09:07:00.003-06:00

There is a giveaway going on over at Simple that all mama's of girls should check out.

What Makes a Bad Mama?

2008-07-30T07:23:00.000-06:00

Providence and I love to go to the library. We go weekly for the pre-school story time, and often will end up at the library at least once more in the week. Not only do we pick stuff out while there, but I also go online and special request things to pick up at the front desk. So every week we fill up with books, movies, and music for us both.

Since Providence has her own card I request all children things with hers, that way it frees mine up to get grown-up things. Every week up front as the librarian checks out each item, I pass them on to Providence and exclaim how fun it will be to read/watch/listen to it together. This past library visit Providence had some things to pick up, Sense and Sensibility (the movie), and another movie called Diggers. As usual I excitedly showed them to Providence and talked about what fun it will be to watch these together.

Later that day we thought we would relax and watch a new library movie. I pulled out diggers and while a bit surprised again at the cover shrugged and turned on the DVD player, imagine my shock when somehow a blaring R rating was staring me down. I was horrified when I realized this was not the more kid-friendly Holes that I had mistaken it for.

It's A Girl Thing

2008-07-28T08:48:00.000-06:00

Providence had become increasingly interested in catalogs. Perhaps because she is a girl, perhaps because she likes pretty things, or perhaps because that is what I give her as "her" mail.

Whatever the reason, she will sit quietly to review her catalogs. She was very impressed with the most recent one, Pottery Barn Kids. She thought all the rooms were so beautiful (except the icky boy ones). In fact she was so impressed she tore her favorite pages out and taped them up so she could view them easily, and this with no inquiries to me, somehow she just knew what to do.

While I was observing her semi-careful duty of tearing the pages out she came across one that was giving her some trouble. While she struggled with this page I overheard her admonishing it with "Come on you disobedient page, obey!"

When You Just Need Sleep

2008-07-26T07:03:00.004-06:00

Once upon a time I began a day SO tired. Unbelievably tired. Like "Did I really get any sleep?" tired. It was a day made to nap. Yes, made to nap, as in if I didn't my patience would be stretched beyonds it's limits and my eyes would dry up and leave me blind. I just needed to lie down. My eyes needed to be closed and my vocal cords unused.
I was apprehensive of Providence sleeping too since the last time we napped together it ended up being a three hour nap, which though very nice and refreshing it then it took two hours for Providence to go to sleep that night, and I didn't want to go through that again (I am one of those people that just lie down and sleep, tossing for a half hour is agony to me. I used to boast a less then 5 min sleep time, now I think the average is around 10 minutes after the kid sleeps).

I came up with a grand plan, I would rest and she would do some quiet activity on the bed. Staying on the bed had a two fold reason, 1: It kept her out of trouble, you know trouble -like finding a flood in the bathroom because she was trying to mop, or a newly "reorganized" kitchen because she was trying to make it pretty, or how about finding all the clothes taken out of a dresser thats now filled up with kittens- that kind of trouble. 2: If I am going to be somewhat out of it I at least want her in the same room as me. I love having all this space but at times (like sleeping times, my sleeping times) I like Providence to be close by.

So I have the plan, now the only problem was finding an activity, a non-messy activity that was not only quiet but would hold her attention for awhile. I came up with making necklaces. She had gotten a little kit with all kinds of beads from her Gram while we were in Oregon, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to break it open.

It did keep her occupied and quiet. She had a good time and no mess was made. And while I didn't get the best nap, it was enough to hold me off till bedtime, plus I got a wicked cool necklace out of it.

It's Mutual

2008-07-24T19:47:00.002-06:00

I have been convicted lately about time spent in scripture, or rather lack there of. There seems to be a million other things that are calling out to be done, and that is the one that gets back burner far too often.

It really hit home a couple weeks ago with a visual my friend Deb (see I do read your blog) wrote. Her sister had shared a sermon about abiding in the vine. Her pastor brought in a cut branch, and as he showed everyone this wilting branch he said "See how this looks? And this is only 24 hours off the tree, imagine 2 days later...one week later?"

No wonder I feel wilted and like I can never get it all done. I need to be revived, refreshed, and abide in my Vine.

We All Learn Now And Then

2008-07-22T08:13:00.005-06:00

Last night Providence and I spent over half an hour reading the entire George and Martha series. They are so hilarious in their silly simplicity. I love the words they use like fond, wicked, flabbergasted, bawling out, and such. It makes me smile, it makes me want to write children's stories, it also makes me wish some things could be worked out so easily.

Speaking of children's books we recently finished Charles Perrault's Fairy Tales in which there was a tale called Patient Griselda, to be honest it was very nearly hard for me to read. In our culture of feminism and doing what's right...for you, this story seems to be everything we despise. After marriage the husband is convinced that his wife cannot really be as good as she seems and so sets about to make her miserable. She patiently, serenely, and lovingly accepts her husbands absolute wickedness, even when he takes away their child from her. In the end he finally sees that she has been a good wife and vows to work harder for her happiness then he ever did to make her miserable, however the rage in my breast was telling me that nothing could ever erase the last 16 years of his treatment and how could she still love him?

How I need to tame that rage and instead admire such character, such inner strength. How I need to tame a heart, in my opinion, too much in this culture. And how grateful I am that the Lord is so patient with me, more so then Griselda even.

Years Past: Part II

2008-07-20T07:44:00.005-06:00

You know how some people like confrontation, or a debate? They like a good argument, something to stir their mind, and yes some just like to do a bang-up job of making others feel stupid.

Well my husband was that way, only instead of words he used his fist's. You might say he was a fighter. He liked a good street fight now and again whether he won or lost it didn't matter, at least not too much.

As he got older I suppose this died a bit, and tragically (to some) marriage seemed to domesticate him even more. However he occasionally would still be on the lookout for a good fight.
This was New Year's 2003, Joe in all his glory was quite proud of the beaut of a shiner (it turned a gorgeous purple after a few hours) and the good 8 or so stitches needed for that lip.

After spending New Years Eve down in Waikiki, striking midnight while we were on the beach, and around town till the wee hours of the morning, we were walking along preparing to figure a way back to the other side of the island for our group which though dwindled down from the beginning of the night still included quite a few. Up ahead there seemed to be a disturbance of some sort and as we got closer it was apparent that a number of young men were calling out to some young women. While the ladies did not appear to speak english it seemed as though they were trying to move on. Two of the girls were able to speed up and proceed on course but one of their group was physically restrained by one of the young men. Joe told the guy to let her go, which thankfully he did, but Joe continued to scold (the nicest way I can put it) him. As this escalated more and more of each group became involved until someone punched Joe in the back of the head and it turned into a good scramble. Gina and myself, the only two women of our group and both pregnant at the time, tried to stay out of the way as much as possible and let it run it's course, which it did ending with that group of boys taking off and leaving our group with many lumps and bruises. I only hope ours inflicted as many as were received.

True Love

2008-07-18T07:53:00.001-06:00

Providence (the one with the dramatics) was belting out loves songs in the car apparently so full of love she couldn't keep it in any longer. Words to the song ran along the lines of "I opened my heart and let true love in, now my heart is full of true love..." The true part was particularly stressed indicating to us that it was not fake love, or mediocre love she was singing about. No it was the pure deep true love kind.

She gently but with great emotion shared this true love in her heart with Uncle Aaron when we went over to their house, and was lovingly attentive to all. Even when the hose was turned on and she got wet, she took it in a loving stride. As it then escalated into an impromptu water war in which all children participating became drenched, she just laughed her way through.

No it wasn't till she tripped that her whole countenance changed and she suddenly realized that she was "Definitely not in true love anymore!"

Back In Slow Motion

2008-07-16T11:58:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes I'm back. Yes, yes it's been a few days. I've just been staring at a blank page, wondering if I should indeed continue. Too many little things to recall, and you know what they say about habits, they're easy to break (well the good ones anyway, and yes blogging is a good habit for me).

I was in Oregon for part of this last week at a family reunion, it was so much fun visiting, being chilly, meeting family I have not yet met (though I have known my in-laws for over 10 years), wearing long pants, late nights, sleeping with a blanket, leisurely mornings, getting goose bumps, oh and being cold did I mention that?

Providence was positively enamored with Ray, (my brother-in-laws soon to be wife, he proposed at the reunion). On a walk they collected items together to make into a wand, so on the return and after a glue run, pokey (the stick) was then decorated. Providence also spent a good deal of time singing and loving on her cousin, who's in utero by the way, Ray was very obliging to let her. And though I did less petting and stroking then Providence I am no less excited to meet my new little supposed niece, but when am I going to get a nephew already?

We had a lovely time at the beach, and I realized once again how terribly sad was my lack of beach going when I lived 10 minutes from one both in California and Hawaii. I had a small little pity-regret party for myself and then proceeded to enjoy the rest of the time there. Besides it's my own fault of not appreciating something till it was no more, and if I thought about it seriously I would not be spending all waking hours at the beach even if I were to go back now. In fact I am probably a perfect beach vacationer and will go more when I don't live near one, or very nearly the same amount, pregnancy aside (because when I was pregnant I did go often).

Providence went on quest to find a mermaid and surprisingly came back without having seen even the tail of one swimming away. Well you can imagine her broken heart and broke down into sobs of anguish for not having met one. She was comforted with the idea of being a mermaid herself and I was able to get of video of the mermaid swimming.

In other news: Since we've been home last few days Providence has been telling me that she always obeys, even right after being disciplined for disobeying. It's a great endeavor but I won't be holding my breath.

One of our fish died this morning,and I have yet to give it a proper burial (think toilet).

I just discovered that my friend is arriving at the airport at 3:30 today, the 3:30 that is not 5:30 which is what I have been preparing for, whoops. But hurray too!

umm, the car needs to be cleaned out...
I need to get food in this house...
Take dog for walk...
I suppose I should start by taking leave of the computer.