Providence has a gift of turning anything into song...including blatant disobedience.It's so mean to make me be quiet, it's so mean and I am going to run away from my mommy.
Picture that to a soft pretty tune, after being told to be quiet.
Providence watched a Foreign film with me, yes the whole thing, and no she was not sick.
Any doubts on how well loved movies are in this home?
"Mom, I'm done with my gum..." sounds fine if it's not accompanied with turning around to try to peel the gum off a shirt.
Thank you Lord it wasn't the hair.
Since fostering kittens Providence spends most of her time upstairs. She has been so good at being careful, making sure they are taking naps ("But momma cat can stay up late because she's the mom, and mom's can do that."), and playing with them. She will sit up there for hours on her own, I mostly hear singing or quiet and since I don't often hear loud meowing and kittens are fine when checked on, I figure everything must be going well.
Then I heard a crash, and Providence calls down the stairs (by the way she is stuck up there because I have the baby gate on the upstairs bathroom door so kittens can't come out and Mary Scot can't go in) "mom, something fell..." Something indeed, when I headed up there to see what that something was I found this.
Apparently she was trying to swing like a monkey on the towel bar, please note these do NOT support a 40+lbs kid swinging from them, monkey like or not.
One more thing to put on my dad list.
When you're rushing out the door all dressed and ready for church and only get a "click, click, click" from the key turning in the ignition it's not a very good feeling, in fact I would call it a down right bad one. This is my first problem with my car which I've had going on six years now. Well first problem resulting in it not starting. Hopefully a jump is all that's needed.
So there we were stranded, with no hope of rescue (as my brothers church starts a half hour before mine). One of my disappointments was I had actually done Providence's hair this morning, and now we're stuck at home, how vain is that? Don't judge to harshly. Honestly my week revolves around going to church. It's like my anchor and without it I feel like I am just floating through the next week. I know I can listen to sermons, read scripture and sing myself, but there is just something about coming together with other saints to fellowship and worship together, something I need.
I have been lagging in post's I know, my mind has just not been very clever but I found bucketfuls of pictures on my camera so you will have to suffer through my un-cleverness if you want to see pictures (and I have a pretty cute daughter so you really may want to).
Since we were stuck at home we did take a walk, which Mary Scot needed. And then Providence prepared me a feast.
Providence is now caring for the litter of kittens we are fostering from the Humane Society. The momma and her babies were found stray about a week ago, they're 4 weeks old and the cutest things, we'll have them for about 4 weeks till they can be adopted. Momma cat is so sweet, I was prepared to have nearly feral cats but she is so gentle, and a good momma too. We get to name them, which as many well know, Providence loves to do.
Last Tuesday we turned on the sprinklers in the front yard and let the kids run though my bit-o-grass. One day I will have more, yes, one day you will be able to walk around in the back yard without shoes and it will look pretty, beautiful even, and not like some barren waste land. So after running around in the front yard (though it was really only Hope that ran around in the water) they took a rest. From oldest to youngest there are less then three years between these girls. Is it just me or does mine seem monstrous?
I went to a fabulous costume party this past week, everyone was dressed up. There was food, a contest, and a pinata what more could you want? We went in last years Halloween costume. Annnd Providence passed a milestone, she climbed a tree all by herself. I wish we had a tree in our yard that was big enough for her to get more practice in, but alas mine are still quite twiggy.
Kelsey was rather annoyed when I called them last night in a panic because I couldn't find the book I was in the middle of. But I really was in a panic because, though I owned this book, the library is not opened on Sunday's and I would have had to go an entire day without reading it. Thankfully it was found with much rejoicing and thankfulness to the Lord (yes my heart really was pouring gratitude to Him as I embraced my lost book).
My family is visiting in less then a week! Less then a week and my dad can make my clothes line (and other things from his "to do" list). I can watch movies with my sisters. I can take early morning walks while it's still relatively cool and Providence is sleeping. Oma can sing and read with Providence. Osanna can cook, Uriah can cook (and everyone else can cook too). The only damper is that they're leaving in less then two weeks.
Today would have been Joe's 28th birthday. We made a cake and had a little celebration. I wanted it to be fun and happy. Something Providence can look back on with fond memories. Honestly it's hard to honor someone who is not there, no one to blow out the candles, or shower birthday kisses on. No one to find the perfect gift for (or not find one). I told the story of Joe's 21st birthday, we got into a car crash on that one (without drinking and driving). I find if I dwell on the past too long I still desire to go back to it, I feel like a shadow of what I was before Joe died. Last year I made a few scrapbook type pages to place at Joe's grave along with the cupcake we have done in the years past. I put some scripture along with some pictures and a small excerpt of a journal entry I made long ago awhile after we had married.I love him so much I wonder how, and the only answer I have is I have is because God made it so. Because God made me to love him with all I have. Because he makes me fly. Because no one has ever felt love before I met him. Because loving him is loving me. Because God made it so, my dreams came true. -Elisabeth (2003 journal)
I can remember how I felt then. That no one could be happier, my cup full and overflowing. Now my smiles and laughter seem to be just a reflection in a pool of what it was. I keep thinking of the verse in Proverbs:Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful;
Though this verse in the midst of describing the unrighteous; this line makes me think of myself. Though I do love my life and enjoy it, though I laugh loud and often, though I look forward to each day, though I would not trade the life given to me for one of my own choosing, my heart stays heavy. Will I always feel so broken? So incomplete? Am I doing something wrong? Am I not allowing the Lord to be my completion? Is it ok to be grieving this way over three years later? Still wondering why? Still having dreams that it's all been a terrible mistake? I know that I have, and continue to heal, I know it's a process, undefined, a new and different territory with person grieving. I don't know how the Lord heals, I don't know the time line, I don't know if I will always sorrow. I don't know alot, but I do know that the Lord, He is God, even when my heart sorrows, he is my Shepard in the valley of the shadow of death, he is my God and there is no other.
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