Saturday, February 23, 2008

How Clever Is Too Clever?

We're having some issues with some very clever lying. An example: yesterday I was upstairs and Providence down when she starts crying, I come down the stairs and she's crying and telling me that the cat bit her. For those of you that know the cat, this is not far fetched, it happens multiple times a day, we both sport constant injuries from Scrump (if you are wondering why kittens name changes so often I explain here), so it would not be far fetched at all. While this would seem very probable, it was in fact a lie, I know this to be so because Scrump had been curled up with me sleeping upstairs for the last half hour. Why would she lie about this? I told her that Scrump had been with me and couldn't have bit her, and that it's wrong to lie, she meanwhile, is still sobbing about the "bite" and without missing a beat changes her allegation to the couch (which sounded alot like cat through the tears) scratching her. What?!!! Furthermore she insisted that she was NOT lying. I remember being a teenager and lying to my parents, insisting that I wasn't. As bad as I felt about lying then, how terrible it feels on the other end. I did not want to accuse my daughter of lying when she said she was telling the truth even though I knew she was lying. I said a quick prayer with a heavy heart and just did it. After some tears she did admit to lying, and wanted a pardon because she did tell the truth after all, albeit a little late. I was firm and did not grant the pardon, though I did praise her for telling the truth even when she knew there would be consequences. Raising kids is very scary; I am always wondering am I doing the right thing? Did I handle that in a godly manner? What can I do so Providence will desire to honor the Lord? Ultimately, I know, it comes down to the graciousness of our Lord, and that I need to make sure I am trusting and honoring Him. But I sure would appreciate prayers for me to reach heart issues rather then just dealing with the surface.


Anonymous February 24, 2008 at 10:59 AM  

I always disciplined the boys when they lied cuz if you don't, it becomes a way of life. I remember Billy Graham saying in a sermon once that kids learn to lie before they even talk, just by shaking their head no when they don't want to do something, or when they don't want to stop doing something. That it is human nature to lie and it has to be trained out of a child. I think you are doing the right thing. You know what an emotional person I am. I used to cry with my kids after I disciplined them cuz I hated doing it, but if I didn't do it, they would become monsters and I'd rather cry for a few minutes than be angry and resentful way more often. Children are such a joy when they are well-behaved and respectful. Of course when they were extremely good, I'd cry too, because I was so grateful for the joys they brought to me and others.

MomS/Gram February 24, 2008 at 11:00 AM  

I forgot to identify myself on the above comment!

MomS/Gram February 24, 2008 at 4:20 PM  

Or maybe, she was crying for a whole other reason, but didn't know how to express why in words, and she remembered that the cat bit her earlier, so in her mind, it was true?

3 for Me!! February 28, 2008 at 8:41 PM  

You posted this a while ago.... but we are also having problems with lying...and we also discipline for lying. I wish I could better discipline the heart and teach to be truthful like our Heavenly Father..... we're all learning together!!!

Mrs. Schwager February 29, 2008 at 10:03 AM  

I remember being a teenager and lying and not caring that I was telling a lie. But I also remember being a kid and telling a lie and getting myself to believe it was the truth. This is what trips me up when I discipline for lying!

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