Saturday, June 28, 2008

Song Singer

Providence has a gift of turning anything into song...including blatant disobedience.

It's so mean to make me be quiet, it's so mean and I am going to run away from my mommy.
Picture that to a soft pretty tune, after being told to be quiet.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Surprising Still

Providence watched a Foreign film with me, yes the whole thing, and no she was not sick.

Any doubts on how well loved movies are in this home?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It just keeps getting better

"Mom, I'm done with my gum..." sounds fine if it's not accompanied with turning around to try to peel the gum off a shirt.Thank you Lord it wasn't the hair.

"Mom Something Fell..."

Since fostering kittens Providence spends most of her time upstairs. She has been so good at being careful, making sure they are taking naps ("But momma cat can stay up late because she's the mom, and mom's can do that."), and playing with them. She will sit up there for hours on her own, I mostly hear singing or quiet and since I don't often hear loud meowing and kittens are fine when checked on, I figure everything must be going well.

Then I heard a crash, and Providence calls down the stairs (by the way she is stuck up there because I have the baby gate on the upstairs bathroom door so kittens can't come out and Mary Scot can't go in) "mom, something fell..." Something indeed, when I headed up there to see what that something was I found this.
Apparently she was trying to swing like a monkey on the towel bar, please note these do NOT support a 40+lbs kid swinging from them, monkey like or not.

One more thing to put on my dad list.

Umm, Yeah

My car was charged, my car won't start, something else is the matter.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

This Lord's Day

When you're rushing out the door all dressed and ready for church and only get a "click, click, click" from the key turning in the ignition it's not a very good feeling, in fact I would call it a down right bad one. This is my first problem with my car which I've had going on six years now. Well first problem resulting in it not starting. Hopefully a jump is all that's needed.

So there we were stranded, with no hope of rescue (as my brothers church starts a half hour before mine). One of my disappointments was I had actually done Providence's hair this morning, and now we're stuck at home, how vain is that? Don't judge to harshly. Honestly my week revolves around going to church. It's like my anchor and without it I feel like I am just floating through the next week. I know I can listen to sermons, read scripture and sing myself, but there is just something about coming together with other saints to fellowship and worship together, something I need.

I have been lagging in post's I know, my mind has just not been very clever but I found bucketfuls of pictures on my camera so you will have to suffer through my un-cleverness if you want to see pictures (and I have a pretty cute daughter so you really may want to).

Since we were stuck at home we did take a walk, which Mary Scot needed. And then Providence prepared me a feast.Providence is now caring for the litter of kittens we are fostering from the Humane Society. The momma and her babies were found stray about a week ago, they're 4 weeks old and the cutest things, we'll have them for about 4 weeks till they can be adopted. Momma cat is so sweet, I was prepared to have nearly feral cats but she is so gentle, and a good momma too. We get to name them, which as many well know, Providence loves to do.

Last Tuesday we turned on the sprinklers in the front yard and let the kids run though my bit-o-grass. One day I will have more, yes, one day you will be able to walk around in the back yard without shoes and it will look pretty, beautiful even, and not like some barren waste land. So after running around in the front yard (though it was really only Hope that ran around in the water) they took a rest. From oldest to youngest there are less then three years between these girls. Is it just me or does mine seem monstrous?

I went to a fabulous costume party this past week, everyone was dressed up. There was food, a contest, and a pinata what more could you want? We went in last years Halloween costume. Annnd Providence passed a milestone, she climbed a tree all by herself. I wish we had a tree in our yard that was big enough for her to get more practice in, but alas mine are still quite twiggy.
Kelsey was rather annoyed when I called them last night in a panic because I couldn't find the book I was in the middle of. But I really was in a panic because, though I owned this book, the library is not opened on Sunday's and I would have had to go an entire day without reading it. Thankfully it was found with much rejoicing and thankfulness to the Lord (yes my heart really was pouring gratitude to Him as I embraced my lost book).

My family is visiting in less then a week! Less then a week and my dad can make my clothes line (and other things from his "to do" list). I can watch movies with my sisters. I can take early morning walks while it's still relatively cool and Providence is sleeping. Oma can sing and read with Providence. Osanna can cook, Uriah can cook (and everyone else can cook too). The only damper is that they're leaving in less then two weeks.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Again Today, Perhaps For Always

Today would have been Joe's 28th birthday. We made a cake and had a little celebration. I wanted it to be fun and happy. Something Providence can look back on with fond memories. Honestly it's hard to honor someone who is not there, no one to blow out the candles, or shower birthday kisses on. No one to find the perfect gift for (or not find one). I told the story of Joe's 21st birthday, we got into a car crash on that one (without drinking and driving). I find if I dwell on the past too long I still desire to go back to it, I feel like a shadow of what I was before Joe died. Last year I made a few scrapbook type pages to place at Joe's grave along with the cupcake we have done in the years past. I put some scripture along with some pictures and a small excerpt of a journal entry I made long ago awhile after we had married.

I love him so much I wonder how, and the only answer I have is I have is because God made it so. Because God made me to love him with all I have. Because he makes me fly. Because no one has ever felt love before I met him. Because loving him is loving me. Because God made it so, my dreams came true. -Elisabeth (2003 journal)
I can remember how I felt then. That no one could be happier, my cup full and overflowing. Now my smiles and laughter seem to be just a reflection in a pool of what it was. I keep thinking of the verse in Proverbs:
Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful;
Though this verse in the midst of describing the unrighteous; this line makes me think of myself. Though I do love my life and enjoy it, though I laugh loud and often, though I look forward to each day, though I would not trade the life given to me for one of my own choosing, my heart stays heavy. Will I always feel so broken? So incomplete? Am I doing something wrong? Am I not allowing the Lord to be my completion? Is it ok to be grieving this way over three years later? Still wondering why? Still having dreams that it's all been a terrible mistake? I know that I have, and continue to heal, I know it's a process, undefined, a new and different territory with person grieving. I don't know how the Lord heals, I don't know the time line, I don't know if I will always sorrow. I don't know alot, but I do know that the Lord, He is God, even when my heart sorrows, he is my Shepard in the valley of the shadow of death, he is my God and there is no other.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Sleep and Sleep

Flosha was spayed yesterday. We had talked about having baby Flosha's at some point, because I thought that would be a neat experience for Providence, however when Kelsey told me that they are euthanizing up to 30 cats (including whole litters and kittens) a day at the local shelter I decided to sign up to become a foster animal person (I won't say parent, because well...I won't be) instead. On my paperwork I checked kittens with momma and kittens without momma, so hopefully soon we will get to experience the cuteness of crying kittens. Why am I doing this to myself, don't I have enough with the cat and dog I already have? Sure do, but I think this will be good for us. And a way to help our community. I mean I know it's just animals (no they are not people too), but we should be taking care of them also (Proverbs 12:10).

Providence was very concerned about Flosha and her surgery and was asking about her all day, when she'd come back, if it will hurt, etc. I explained that the actually incision wouldn't hurt her because the Vet made her sleep before he cut her open. Providence pondered that for awhile before asking me if children are taken to the doctor while they are sleeping too.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Trip Diaries

::In the Car::

On this much talked about, yet mysterious road trip, (I never did say where I was going did I? The destination was Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. However we made a major detour through southern Utah to visit an animal rescue called Best Friends) So on this wild and crazy ride we were in the car for hours on end for a number of days. At one point during a stretch of time Kelsey was letting the girls play with her make-up and passed some eye shadow back to Providence. I was quietly reading and only briefly glanced up to give an "um-hm" to my daughter after being asked if this one goes on the eyes. I continued reading but after a bit I realized Providence was actually putting the make-up IN her eye. Keeping her eyelids open she was carefully wiping eyeshadow all over her eyeballs. Thankfully no permanent damage done, and I learned a valuable lesson: three year olds quite literally mean what they say.


::My Own Dad::

Providence could very keenly tell there was a special relationship between Uncle Aaron and cousin Hope. Being in such close proximity 24/7 with another family for a long period of time you see more of family dynamics then you would even when you see someone daily, or very nearly daily, for a few hours. With this heightened awareness she told me that she wanted to have her own dad. It brought us to converse about contentment and praying for hearts desires. Though she really is quite happy with her mother, as I am with my daughter.


::Thinking Hot And Being Cold::

June. One thinks of hot lazy days, tanks and shorts, cold beer, swimming, water, playing outside, getting dirty, you know all that summer stuff. In an effort not to over pack, yet knowing that we may not have access to wash clothes I brought almost our whole summer wardrobe, plenty of tanks and sundresses for Providence and more of the same for me (though my shorts were not quite as short). As a last minute thought I threw in a sweatshirt for each of us just in case. Little did I know that's what we would live in for the next 9 days. Utah was a touch chilly, Wyoming more so, but when we got to South Dakota the wind and rain were freezing. The wind blew through anything you were wearing. I have to admit during the whole weekend there were a few non-windy sunny spots here and there, but they were few and far between. Even with the sun if the wind was a-blowing you needed something. So one sweatshirt, 9 days, no laundry, and I got along alot better then one could have hoped.


::You Are My Sunshine::

"...My only sunshine..." Providence need only hear a word or two and her mind goes directly to Oma. They like to sing it together and it would be most endearing if it didn't produce sobs of the magnitude that it did...more then once. It was recommended that I remove said song from her playlist.

BTW this was a very sunshiney troll, which is why I choose it
for this chapter of the diaries.


::The Faces::

Seeing images carved into rock mountains was awe inspiring to say the least.

Crazy Horse just had it's 60th anniversary, and why is it taking so long you may ask (because I sure did). Well it's size, all of Mt. Rushmore will be able to fit in the head; funding, this is supported solely from interested parties, in fact the original sculptor twice turned down a 10 million dollar grant from the government; family operation, after Korczak Ziolkowski death his wife took over managing and I believe 8 of their 10 children are still involved.

Mt. Rushmore was quite the history in the making for myself. I have wanted to go there for sometime, and to see this
monument to some of our great presidents was something I will remember all my days. Not only was the area beautiful (especially from inside the car where the wind couldn't touch you) but there was still so much around there that I would have liked to do. I want to go back some day, with warmer clothes.


::First Knife::

Providence's chosen souvenir from Mt Rushmore was a little pocket knife. She is most impressed with it. When I flipped out the little 1/2 inch blade she held it and said with awe "Is this for killing?" I suggested that perhaps she could protect us from bugs, so every time a mosquito buzzed by she would whip out her knife ask me to open it and challenge the mosquito to a duel. She looked quite cute stabbing at the air with her bit of metal.


::Blow Out::

The picture speaks for itself I believe. And if you can believe with all the car problems I have encountered (and believe you me there have been alot) this is only my second flat tire, and first full on blowout.

No persons or animals were harmed in the making of this picture.



Some of you may know of my goal of somehow touching each of our 50 states,
and of my on-going friendly competition of completing this goal before my brother-in-law Tommy. Being so close to a state yet unvisited I couldn't bare but that we would go a few hours out of our way returning home through Nebraska. The wish was very graciously granted. And though I read Jane Austen almost the whole way through you can chalk another state up for me Tom!


::Cute Puppy::

Oh, yes she is. Good thing too because she's also incredibly annoying and loud.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

It's Wasn't Till Just Now

I've just returned this very day from a camping/road trip. Having been online not once these past nine days till now, has thrown me back into the dark age. Yes even I at the tender age of 25 can well remember days before internet and cell phones were the norm. However now I'm home it's a fast track to present day, including washing machines and hot showers.
If Providence looks kind of unhappy in this picture, I can assure you that she in fact was unhappy, apparently large teepee's really freak her out.

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