Monday, August 11, 2008

He Showers His Blessings

After my husband Joe died money was the last worry on my mind. I had always been the worrier and now I had excess. I was in need of nothing financially. I bought what I wanted, what Providence wanted, enjoyed being much more liberal then I had ever been in my life and with a heart that Joe had always displayed towards money.

When I purchased my new home 9 or so months ago I had plans of paying it off in 15 years. I dreamed of what I wanted to do with the house and did many of the improvements dreamed to make it mine. And why not? I had the money to.

In spring I found out that 2/3's of my monthly income (from investments) have ceased. My principle cannot be touched, in fact there are so many legal problems that I have heard rumors that investors could be getting just 30% of their principle and it could take up to 10 years to even get that.

Hard times, everyone seems to be experiencing them in some way or other. For the first time in years I had work out a budget, and yet no matter which way I figured for the first time ever my income did not match the smallest budget I could figure. After much agonizing, I realized, this is the Lord's money and the Lord's house if I lose it before owning it for even a year, then He will provide another way for me.

The Lord is faithful, that much I have learned. That much I can rest my life on.

I have found so many things to be grateful for in this trial.

Reliance on others, this is hard for me. I, like most people, want to be reliant on no one but myself, and occasionally the Lord.

Working a budget. It makes me feel more productive.

Surrendering- money, security, lifestyle.

When my parents and siblings visited in July we all had a family meeting about what I should do now, do I look for a job? Do I sell the house? To my amazement my dear family gathered together, looked over my budget and figured out a way to supplement my income with sharing part of their own. They felt my place was to be with Providence (as did I) and did all they could to keep that as goal.

Then this Sunday after church one of the men approached me and said that the church wanted to put in a lawn for me. I was so overwhelmed, there were no words I could say that would express how deeply grateful I was. This was a desire I have had since moving in but have been unable to accomplish because once it stopped freezing overnight my income froze making it impossible. I didn't see grass entering our life for many many years.

I don't like to share these hardships, I tell myself it's to not burden others but I think the truth of the matter is
that it's rather embarrassing. I don't have it all together, not that anyone thought I did...except maybe me. But with my heart full of gratefulness to my family and church for stepping in and meeting my needs I'm learning that being a Christian is not just about meeting needs, it's about sharing them too. It's about humbling your heart, and relying on Christ.

My eyes see only His blessings, how Lord can you continue to shower them on one such as I?

My heart is full, and it sings,

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!


Ivanna August 11, 2008 at 11:59 AM  

Wow! I am sure you will enjoy your lawn. What a blessing your Church is to you. Much love to you.

Malia August 11, 2008 at 3:55 PM  

What a testimony to God's provision! Looking back, I still can't believe I was a single Mom for 3 years and never had to send Lily to daycare. Sometimes, it's not how we expect it, but He always meets our needs.

Drea August 11, 2008 at 7:22 PM  

You've been in my thoughts and prayers a lot since you told me some of this... im so glad to hear your heart on everything! and how nice to get a lawn!! you have to take before/after pics :-) I have only seen like 1 photo of your home outside ;-)

MomS/Gram August 11, 2008 at 9:49 PM  

I'm so grateful to God for His provision in your and Providence's lives! How wonderful your family is and how great that you are being cared for by your church family too! Praise God!

big hair betty August 12, 2008 at 7:06 PM  

Thank you for sharing this! It is a good reminder that in sharing in one another's burdens, our faith is exercised (for both the giver and the taker). As our family grows, I know that I'll be forced to ask for help (in one way or another) and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that!

Erin August 12, 2008 at 8:53 PM  

Thank you for sharing this, Lis. God is so good!

The Scatterbrain August 12, 2008 at 9:06 PM  

Thank you for commenting on my blog, so that I would be prompted to come and read yours. You are such an encouragement! I pray that you wake up with the feeling that God is by you everyday. And I pray that you will continue to be a blessing to people like me!

Momathon August 13, 2008 at 1:19 AM  

Thank you, Lis. Sharing these things is a real encouragement.

Lovingtolove August 13, 2008 at 5:14 AM  

You are such an amazing person. Honest and kind. We all have things in our lives like this, nothing embarrasing...just life. :)

And on a side note...A lawn!?!? AWESOME! Seriously I would live in a 1 bedroom for a lawn lol well...

Team Garaway August 13, 2008 at 10:52 AM  

Now we know what to pray for and what to thank God for! You have lived in a way that has blessed others and so now it is your turn! I know what you mean by living on a budget making you feel productive! I feel the same way.

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