He Showers His Blessings

After my husband Joe died money was the last worry on my mind. I had always been the worrier and now I had excess. I was in need of nothing financially. I bought what I wanted, what Providence wanted, enjoyed being much more liberal then I had ever been in my life and with a heart that Joe had always displayed towards money.

When I purchased my new home 9 or so months ago I had plans of paying it off in 15 years. I dreamed of what I wanted to do with the house and did many of the improvements dreamed to make it mine. And why not? I had the money to.

In spring I found out that 2/3's of my monthly income (from investments) have ceased. My principle cannot be touched, in fact there are so many legal problems that I have heard rumors that investors could be getting just 30% of their principle and it could take up to 10 years to even get that.

Hard times, everyone seems to be experiencing them in some way or other. For the first time in years I had work out a budget, and yet no matter which way I figured for the first time ever my income did not match the smallest budget I could figure. After much agonizing, I realized, this is the Lord's money and the Lord's house if I lose it before owning it for even a year, then He will provide another way for me.

The Lord is faithful, that much I have learned. That much I can rest my life on.

I have found so many things to be grateful for in this trial.

Reliance on others, this is hard for me. I, like most people, want to be reliant on no one but myself, and occasionally the Lord.

Working a budget. It makes me feel more productive.

Surrendering- money, security, lifestyle.

When my parents and siblings visited in July we all had a family meeting about what I should do now, do I look for a job? Do I sell the house? To my amazement my dear family gathered together, looked over my budget and figured out a way to supplement my income with sharing part of their own. They felt my place was to be with Providence (as did I) and did all they could to keep that as goal.

Then this Sunday after church one of the men approached me and said that the church wanted to put in a lawn for me. I was so overwhelmed, there were no words I could say that would express how deeply grateful I was. This was a desire I have had since moving in but have been unable to accomplish because once it stopped freezing overnight my income froze making it impossible. I didn't see grass entering our life for many many years.

I don't like to share these hardships, I tell myself it's to not burden others but I think the truth of the matter is that it's rather embarrassing. I don't have it all together, not that anyone thought I did...except maybe me. But with my heart full of gratefulness to my family and church for stepping in and meeting my needs I'm learning that being a Christian is not just about meeting needs, it's about sharing them too. It's about humbling your heart, and relying on Christ.

My eyes see only His blessings, how Lord can you continue to shower them on one such as I?

My heart is full, and it sings,

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!