Baby Love Letters: Part III

Q: What inspires me?Everything that should, scripture, books, music, nature.

Some silly things like making lists, plans, and schedules.

Solid things like other widows joyful in the Lord's will. Because I fall, stumble, stutter, and fail so often.

My siblings, particularly at the moment Uncle Uriah. I see in him a young man hungry for the Lord, a lover of family, I see that children can rise up and call their parents blessed without using words. That his character speaks to them and the whole family, blessing each member and the extensions.

Young families not afraid to call their children a blessing or to have their quiver full. That disregard what others may say and are faithful and joyful to raise many children in the Lord.

Older families that have done this.Being a mother and of course you. Your openness and love for the world around you. The teachable spirit you exhibit, the joyful smiles you give me. You inspire and challenge me to be a better mother, a better teacher, a better women, a better Christian.

Words And Their Teachers

You know how words don't seem so wrong till they come out of your child? Lately Providence has began using the adjective stupid. Each time this comes out of her mouth I wince, it sounds so un-childlike. I am not entirely sure where she picked this up, though I think I may be able to once again blame Auntie Iv (she's taught her all her other "bad" words, like butt and po-po). The evidence I have against her is this: This morning Providence asked me to tell her a story, one that Auntie told her, though Auntie thought it was stupid after, Providence didn't. I then vaguely recalled the story and Ivanna at the end of telling it, admitting that it was kind of stupid. So there you have it. Yes I am presenting evidence with the words of a three year old who told everyone I was busy picking my nose when in fact I was scratching my nose, the bridge of it not in it, (it was peeling slightly from a sunburn). So finger pointed, blame shifted, thanks Ivanna for adding another such colorful word into my daughters vocabulary, glad we can still get doses of you from far away.

Back and Recovering

Camping was fantastic, I got to see mountains, hills and trees again, play in sand and water, and it didn't really get over 80 something. Plus sans phones and computers, but keeping things like a refrigerator was the perfect balance.
While catching up on blogs I downloaded some free music that I am really enjoying listening to, check it out yourself and get a new free album.

We're Going Camping Now

We're on our way...

We'll be back next week.

PS And we are in fact going trailer camping meaning we have a refrigerator, and a bed of sorts.

That's A Wrap

This last Sunday at church Providence "sang" all the songs. Not in the robust way she does in California but it is the first time she's sung each song at church here. She is also much more confident when she plays with friends at their houses, and by the way speaking of confidence the biggest moment of all....she spent the night at her cousins house. Yes, a whole night away from me, and she did great. It was on Joy's birthday, they stayed up late watching a movie and eating chocolate chips then she snuggled up with Auntie Kelsey and they talked till they fell asleep. I, on the other hand, woke up every half hour expecting the phone call that never came.

Years Past: Part IV

This one is remembered with many smiles, and so I apologize once again to the victim for my continued untimely laughter.

The story is set the summer I turned 18, (except I didn't turned 18 in the summer I already had previous to it). Accompanied with two friends I went gallivanting off in Europe, my traveling companions were Boy A and Girl B (in case they prefer to remain nameless, though I don't think either of them read my blog). These were the days before digital cameras, certainly at least for me, so I have taken a picture of a picture in my scrapbook to share. Also we apparently really didn't think any of us were worth film because I couldn't find one picture with all three of us.

We had spent a few fun weeks in England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland and were ready to test the waters of some non-english speaking countries. So we said good-bye to the white cliffs of Dover and hello to Calais, France. When we got off the fairy we were met with a fairly small town at least in our immediate walking distance and armed only with our much-to-large backpacks and walking shoes we went in search of a place to lay our heads...and searched...and searched, turns out communicating is pretty important when trying to get directions.

We finally stumbled across a sign that had a tent and an arrow on it (hallelujah for picture signs) and followed the arrows all the way to a campground. Though we had no tent we paid for a spot as there were bathrooms and showers. It was the middle of summer and we did not account for the sea wind that Calais has, as in knock-you-down wind, we hoped since we would be close to the ground that none of us would fly away in the night and that our trusty sleeping bags would keep us warm.

As night fell we put all valuables into our sleeping bags pulled our backpacks up close to use as pillows and carefully placed our shoes next to our heads. Taking off her shoes Girl B said "Wouldn't it suck if someone stole our shoes?" I agreed that it certainly would since we had only brought one pair each. We then all stayed awake under the great big sky talking about things that had happened, things we were looking forward to, things we were worried about, and who we were missing back home.

We slept all night on the hard earth with wind whipping around and did not wake up once. To be that young again...or maybe just that tired. When my eyes finally opened the next day I was greeted with a beautiful morning. Boy A had already awakened and was up showering but Girl B continued to snooze away. I noticed then that the shoes she had so carefully arranged were not there anymore and happy to play along I asked her where her shoes were. This sat her up, and she groggily began searching in the very empty space they had been the night before, while I laughed heartily at her joke. Unfortunately when she told me through clenched teeth that it was not a joke but that someone had indeed stolen them, it did not stifle my laughter as I think she was hoping. No, instead it brought a new round of louder uncontrollable laughter, and each time I looked at her would bring on more.

Eventually I was able to control myself, she bought new shoes, and we continued on our way (she did forgive me then too).

And my shoes? Well they made it safely home, and are still occasionally worn.

Baby Love Letters: Part II

Q: What is my favorite memory of a summer day?To try and whittle favorite summer memories down to one is nearly impossible. I've had fun lazy summers with Aunties and Uncles, travel filled ones- in which I visited 9 countries in 6 weeks, or been on road trips, summers with births, summers with bikes, I've even had wasted summers (which don't particularly make it in the running), but I think my favorite summer memory is a fairly recent one, four years ago to be exact. The summer I was pregnant with you.

Since your father was deploying soon he received his pre-deployment leave in June of '04, with nearly everybody else in the Battalion traveling home for their leave we spent many glorious days without seeing anybody but each other. We went snorkeling, miniature golfing, to movies, on walks...but most days we spent at home playing cards, I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life, or been that euphorically happy. I'm glad that in a small way you were able to know me then, to hear that laugh...the laugh your father gave me.

Though this memory is not specific, where I can write in on paper to share. My heart can still at times catch that feeling I had during those days, as if my heart had wings and could never come down. Unable to stop smiling. How different my smiles feel now.

I love spending summers with you, eating melon, going on picnic's, hearing you squealing with delight when some water makes its way to you on a hot afternoon. I hope each summer will become more memorable for you, not so much what is done, but the happiness shared. And I hope that you will one day experience a summer as rapturously blissful as the last one I shared with your dad.

Spectacular - Spectacular

Providence's newest necessity has been a cape, yesterday she was adorned with only this, underwear and a belt, what can I say she marches to her own beat when she picks out her outfits.Check out Simple and sign up for a chance to win your own spectacular cape.

Starting Early

Providence loves the phone, recently she learned about hand free headsets and she's sold. She will ask to call someone, then once I dial and someone answers she will go off on her own for a loooong time. The longest has been just under two hours. Mostly she calls Oma, Grandpa, Aunties, and Uncle. They each bring something to the table, grandpa feeds Oko (Providence's duck that is back in California) so she gets to hear her quacking, Oma will read books over the phone for HOURS, Uncle tells many stories, and Aunties converse and remember things with Providence.

As much as I'm sure my family loves these conversations, I have started to feel bad for them now that they became a daily occurrence. I mean it just eats up the morning. So when Providence asked something about Grandpa Jim (Joe's dad) I suggested that she call him to ask him herself, she was off in a shot for her headset. Unfortunately he was working, but Providence was nicely consoled by talking with Gram for a good while and a promise that Grandpa Jim would call the next day.

I wonder what it will be like when she's a teenager, she's already on the phone more then I am...

He Showers His Blessings

After my husband Joe died money was the last worry on my mind. I had always been the worrier and now I had excess. I was in need of nothing financially. I bought what I wanted, what Providence wanted, enjoyed being much more liberal then I had ever been in my life and with a heart that Joe had always displayed towards money.

When I purchased my new home 9 or so months ago I had plans of paying it off in 15 years. I dreamed of what I wanted to do with the house and did many of the improvements dreamed to make it mine. And why not? I had the money to.

In spring I found out that 2/3's of my monthly income (from investments) have ceased. My principle cannot be touched, in fact there are so many legal problems that I have heard rumors that investors could be getting just 30% of their principle and it could take up to 10 years to even get that.

Hard times, everyone seems to be experiencing them in some way or other. For the first time in years I had work out a budget, and yet no matter which way I figured for the first time ever my income did not match the smallest budget I could figure. After much agonizing, I realized, this is the Lord's money and the Lord's house if I lose it before owning it for even a year, then He will provide another way for me.

The Lord is faithful, that much I have learned. That much I can rest my life on.

I have found so many things to be grateful for in this trial.

Reliance on others, this is hard for me. I, like most people, want to be reliant on no one but myself, and occasionally the Lord.

Working a budget. It makes me feel more productive.

Surrendering- money, security, lifestyle.

When my parents and siblings visited in July we all had a family meeting about what I should do now, do I look for a job? Do I sell the house? To my amazement my dear family gathered together, looked over my budget and figured out a way to supplement my income with sharing part of their own. They felt my place was to be with Providence (as did I) and did all they could to keep that as goal.

Then this Sunday after church one of the men approached me and said that the church wanted to put in a lawn for me. I was so overwhelmed, there were no words I could say that would express how deeply grateful I was. This was a desire I have had since moving in but have been unable to accomplish because once it stopped freezing overnight my income froze making it impossible. I didn't see grass entering our life for many many years.

I don't like to share these hardships, I tell myself it's to not burden others but I think the truth of the matter is that it's rather embarrassing. I don't have it all together, not that anyone thought I did...except maybe me. But with my heart full of gratefulness to my family and church for stepping in and meeting my needs I'm learning that being a Christian is not just about meeting needs, it's about sharing them too. It's about humbling your heart, and relying on Christ.

My eyes see only His blessings, how Lord can you continue to shower them on one such as I?

My heart is full, and it sings,

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Worse Then That

After talking with Aaron about my mail problem it was realized that kids taking my mail was in fact not the worst, it could have been stolen by someone much more sinister...that now has checks with my banking information and signature, as well as account information of some credit cards.

Where Oh Where Can My Mail Have Gone

My mail is missing...a whole stack of bills and one netflix, all sent on the same day, have turned up missing (side rant: this makes no sense, how can something "turn up" missing? If it's turned up it's not missing. And why am I keeping this silly phrase in my post?) The netflix gave me the first clue (see movies are good for something). Mailed on Friday would usually make it returned on Monday. When it was still at large on Wednesday I listed it as missing and checked out my online bank so see if any of the bills have been posted. Sure enough not one of them was, so I spent Friday afternoon calling each company to make repayments.

My missing outgoing mail though is not alone either, I am also missing at least one incoming thing (that I am aware of), and I suffered two days of not getting any mail. That's right when I opened the door there was nothing but a cold hard empty box, which has not happened since I've moved here. There has always been something, catalogs or adds at the very least.

So with mail on the fritz all over the country, at least for myself and cousin Rose (who has actually written numerous posts about her mail service) I wonder what's a feller to do when he can't count on the USPS? Or worse yet, my neighborhood kids...

Blackened

****Updated****

I do not like things burned, not meat, not cookies, not toast. I did grow up in a household where some did like to eat charcoal, so I know there are some out there, but I am not one of them.

Providence made toast for us and it got a bit blackened, I was thankful when she choose the blacker one for herself and let me have the one with just the edges burned. I must have complained about how dark it was (shame on me) because while eating her slice she remarked that it was still quite tastey and not too burned.

"You take after your Oma" I said, which then launched us into playacting that she actually was Oma, and I Providence. I am quite used to these games and switched gears easily asking 'Oma' why she likes to eat burned things. She answered that she likes them because "Sometimes God just sends them to us." Simple as that. She then went on to tell me that my aunties and mothers brother had just arrived...what the? Mothers brother, I started thinking which great-uncle of mine has she met when I remembered I was in fact Providence, and she Oma, which would make my mothers (aka the real me) brother Uriah. With the strange things she figures out I have to say I am more surprised that it didn't come out as your cousins grandmas daughters brother.


Update:
I found Providence in the kitchen this morning scavenging oven chips, you know when something spills in the oven and turns into some hard black bubble thing. When I asked her what she was doing she said looking for something to eat.



This picture shows three things...

1) I am clearly failing in some motherly duties, like feeding my daughter.

2) I do not clean my oven often (um...ever).

3) She really does like black stuff, and no I did not allow her to eat it.

I'll Eat That Right Up

"That" being a 3 1/2 foot rattler.

And it was mmm-umm good.

Years Past: Part III

Many moons ago I was a little girl. Providence loves hearing these long ago stories of when her mom was pint-sized herself. She finds it incredible that I was once her size.As a girl I sported long hair as did all the females in our family. My father loves long hair and he and my mom decided we (the girl side) would all have it if he took care of it. As a child my biggest desire was short hair, but I have learned the beauty of long hair and actually prefer now myself.

I am sure my mother did at times need to brush our hair but I can recall my dad doing it mostly, in fact I can recall him spending most of a night brushing out one of our heads (which had formed a kind-of dreadlock), when everyone else just wanted it cut off to save the trouble. He still brushes my moms hair daily, it's something I remember him doing my entire life.

Wild children we were. Me less so then my twin sisters, but still wild enough that after having my hair brushed out every morning it was a knotty mess by the time I had walked to school (I attended a Private Christian school through 3rd grade, and then home-schooled through graduation). I recall one day having a friend (one with really fine hair that has never seen a tangle) over. I had my hair brushed right before she arrived and as I walked out of my house she said quite amazedly "Your hair is really pretty when it's brushed. I didn't know you did that."

Baby Love Letters: Part I

Awhile back I was sent a book from Claire (who owns Bambini Boutique) called Held in the Arms of Love. After all this time I still have not begun writing in the book so I thought I would give myself another warm up by doing "Friday Letters" These will be written to Providence, and published here to share words I want to gift to her.

Q: What have you learned?
You have learned boys and girls are different, not only are girl things prettier, but boys don't always like to be princes, while girls are always ready to be princesses.

You have learned about pregnancy and birth, nearly daily you find some new item to deliver, not just dolls but rocks and beads too, even flowers or blades of grass. Nothing is too small or insignificant for you to labor for, and you love each baby fiercely (though most new mamas wouldn't let someone, even the grandma, "borrow" their baby which you did with your most recent rock baby).

You have learned to desire to please not only myself but also our Lord, I can hear your sweet three year old voice asking "Is the Lord pleased too?"

You have learned the letter "P" is for Providence, and excitedly point it out whenever you chance to see one.

You have learned giving can be just as fun as receiving, you often present me with special somethings, and you can now be well counted on to provide handfuls of wildflowers when available.

You have learned to work through shyness, being friendly is important. Even a smile can bring someone joy, and when we refuse to offer that token to others that is selfishness.

You have learned life isn't always happiness, you seem so young to know death as intimately as you do. And though I know you cannot understand it completely you are well acquainted with it. You know life means death too, and with that knowledge you can live it fully, knowing this is the time God has given you.

I am blessed to see your mind comprehend new things, and I know as you grow and mature not only with your life be richer but so will mine.